Friday, September 24, 2010

Three ring circus

Today was a three ring circus at court. The "bad people" showed up - despite everyone being told they were no longer involved with any custody issues.

The girls were sent home with us and will be with us for at least one more month. From there, we'll have to see if the bio family is going to do what they need to do to be able to keep the girls safe.

Incredible feelings of abandonment are running rampant in our house. I kept them home from school all day today. It just didn't make sense to send them to a classroom for two hours on a Friday afternoon after all they had been through in the morning. I'm hoping our evening doesn't completely blow up. Though, they have good reason to lose it. Court was very stressful for them.

The girls do have incentive to use proper coping skills as they process through all the crap. And...so far...so good. Since moving here, they have made friends with a girl across the street. If they can treat everyone at home with respect and not be hurtful to each other, they can continue to have privileges to play at their friend's house or have her come over here. Right now they are out walking the puppy from across the street and having a blast.

Things are good. They have processed some about court and seem OK with what happened. Hopefully this isn't the calm before the storm.

2 comments:

Dodi said...

I'm slowly beginning the stages of being a foster parent. I like to read the blogs from the beginning. I found yours from foster mom r. I know this was a long time ago but I was wondering why the girls had to go to court. From a lot of reading different blogs I don't think I ever read that the children how to go to court for placement, if anything the child meet with the judge privately so they wouldn't have to deal with seeing their parents.

Cherub Mamma said...

Texas law states that every child is to attend all hearings unless excused specifically by the judge. In most of Texas, I believe children are excused. However, the judge in our county (who also presides over the neighboring county) requires that ALL children attend ALL hearings. He almost never excuses the children from attending.

While in court, the judge has NEVER spoken with any of my cherubs. Not even privately.

I look at it as System induced trauma. Court is sooo traumatic for the kids, especially the little ones, to attend. Their parents are upset. It's a tense situation. And little ones simply don't belong in the middle of it. But I'm required to bring them. I have no say in the matter.

And the teens - they should go. They should also get to speak to the judge. And that didn't happen for the teen we fostered. They wouldn't even talk to him after he sent a letter directly to the judge prior to court.