Saturday, January 29, 2011

My compassion is waning

I'm going to put this out there. All that compassion I had for bio mom is waning. I want to think positively. I want to believe her claims of wanting to change. I want to believe that family reunification is the right thing.

But I'm struggling.

Mom came along yesterday to Pumpkin's dental surgery. I swear we discussed that she would bring dinner for Pumpkin at their visit last night. I swear we did.

And I know that I told her how much Pumpkin had eaten yesterday. I called her about an hour before the visit to let her know that Pumpkin was still pretty out of it, but that she had managed to eat 4 oz. of applesauce. That was all she had eaten all day long.

Mom brought some Sprite for Pumpkin. She did not bring anything for Pumpkin to eat. The visit lasted from 5:00PM to 7:00PM. Most normal five year olds eat their supper during that time. Any child that had surgery and was just starting to feel better should have been offered something during that time.

I talked with the CPS worker that supervised the visit. She called her supervisor and had me explain what happened. I was assured that it will be addressed on Monday with Mom.

Then the visit supervisor shared with me that Mom spends the visits on her phone. She barely even interacts with Pumpkin. Instead, Pumpkin spends the visits up on the lap of her 16 year old sister.

Wouldn't you think that a woman who is up on felony charges of abandonment would at least PRETEND to care about her kid on the first week of visits?! I mean really! She hadn't seen her daughter in three weeks! Dontcha think that if she truly did want to change and get her daughter back that she would pretend for at least a few visits?!

The good out of this is that Pumpkin trusts me and my family. Transitions are going OK. You can tell that she wants to be with her mommy, but she's not freaking out when she has to leave to come home with me. It's so sad that Pumpkin has to suffer more to prove what her mom can or cannot do.


jendoop said...

Another thing to be grateful for is that Pumpkin's mom is showing her true colors in the visits. That should get back to the judge and have a huge amount of influence.

You're doing a great and wonderful thing. Even though Pumpkin can't say it, and doesn't understand it, she REALLY needs you. You are saving her from more physical pain and developmental delays in addition to providing a wonderful home. You are doing a great job! Don't feel bad if that compassion wanes a bit, it means that you are becoming more attached to Pumpkin and your momma bear is coming out for her!

MamaFoster said...

that is horrible and i am very annoyed for both of you, mostly pumpkin. i am glad she has you!

noisycolorfullively said...

Gosh this story sounds familiar. You could be describing the begining of Simeon's case. It sucks for them. And it's hard to watch.