There are things about foster parenting that you get "warned" about during the training. But can I tell you that head knowledge is totally different than experiencing the real thing?!
Join me in a conversation I had via text this afternoon with Pumpkin's mom....
Me: Do I have permission to take Pumpkin for a haircut? I would like to get her a trim and cut off the dry frizzy ends. It is entirely up to you though as I have to have an OK from you before I can do something like that.
Bio Mom: What happen to her on her arm i saw the scrape on her arm?
What scrape?! Hmmm...better check Pumpkin over. Oh, look. Here's a minor scab on her elbow. I never saw her fall and scrape it. Must have happened at school or something. Pumpkin has a hard time walking and falls pretty regularly. Could have happened anywhere I guess. I'll improvise...
Me: She fell down and scraped it. It was really minor. I think it might have happened at school on the playground. I didn't notice it right away.
Bio Mom: You didn't notice it?
Me: Not right away. It wasn't bleeding. The scrape was barely there. She didn't complain. It is healing fine.
In the back of my mind I'm screaming. Oh I'm yelling!
She is the mom that left her daughter completely unattended! Her daughter was found at midnight wearing nothing but a diaper and some socks. She was intoxicated and ended up getting arrested. But I have to answer for a scrape on the elbow that could have happened anywhere?!
Well, Mom changed the subject back to the haircut. I have permission to cut it "a little bit". I confirmed that I want to take about an inch off. She's OK with that. I'm going to make sure that CPS knows I have permission and I think we'll get the haircut done later on this week.
And just to keep things interesting, I sent a text to Pumpkin's mom as we finished up at the dentist. (We had gone back for a followup after the surgery she had a couple weeks ago.)
Me: We just finished at the dentist. Pumpkin is healing great from the surgery.
Bio Mom: Thank god ! ! and you
Navigating the world of parenting is strange enough. This fostering stuff is a trip!