Friday, July 29, 2011

The big, ugly cry that DIDN'T happen

I've been preparing myself all week for dropping my cherubs off at respite today.

Initially I was just sure that the family taking Pumpkin was only doing it for the paycheck. And since the family taking Dolly and Dude had to change last minute, I knew nothing except that the new one is recently verified and had not had a placement yet (only respite kids).

I met the mom at Pumpkin's home. She had nice things to say and asked good questions. Pumpkin handles transitions fine so that was not a problem at all. And, after meeting the mom, I am sure Pumpkin will get the kind of care she needs. All is well. (Whew! Thank goodness my initial reaction was wrong!!)

I was most worried about dropping off Dolly and Dude. The kids and I (especially Dolly) had talked about it some starting Wednesday. I got out the suitcases and put a few outfits in each one. As I finished packing clothes yesterday Dolly and I chatted for quite awhile. I kept it very simple and just said that she was going to have to stay at a different house for a few days. I told her over and over that we would come back!! I reassured her that Dude was going too and they would get to stay together. But since Dolly and Dude get so upset at day care, I figured they would both go nuts when I had to drop them off with their clothes at a new house.

Thank God I was wrong!!

In fact, I felt the presence of God in the home. The mom was kind and compassionate. Dolly and Dude didn't even get stressed out. They didn't cry at all.

It helped that Dolly had her favorite toys (her dolls and baby stroller). And I gave them some special books after we got to the respite home today. Mr. Amazing and I recorded our voices on these neat books I found at the bookstore. Dolly and Dude will be able to carry their books around and open them up whenever they want to hear our voices. We told them how much we will miss them, that we love them and that we are coming back. They latched on to the books right away.

I had a calm about myself when I drove away. I was sure that I was going to do a big, ugly cry complete with multiple tissues and lots of snot. (I know...gross! But I was just sure it was going to be painful.) The calm I felt was a pleasant surprise.

After dropping off all the cherubs I needed to pop in to our agency to drop off some paperwork. It felt good to be reassured that everyone there will keep an eye on my cherubs. My worker told me I could call as much as I want to check on them.

I'm going to miss them like crazy! (Especially Dolly and Dude!) But I can tell I'm not being saddled with unnecessary Mother Guilt.

God is good. I love it when prayers get answered so clearly like this!! I come!!


MamaFoster said...

boy are you in love with your two new little ones. so glad they are in a home (with you) that cares about them so much AND I am glad that the respite home seemed good too. glad they didn't cry!

and i am happy that pumpkin is with someone that seems to care too.


noisycolorfullively said...

So glad you and the cherubs have peace! Blessings to you, hope the vacation is AMAZING!!! and that you come home to happy, healthy little bits :)