Saturday, August 6, 2011

Chillin' on vacation

My littlest cherubs have been in respite care for 8 days now. It feels strange to only have three kids.

Oh...who's kidding who?! It's a whole lot easier!!!

Sometimes it feels just right having only five people in our group. Other times, it's like there's a giant black hole. There's so much going on with our vacation though that I'm staying busy and having a blast! My kids are enjoying every minute with family and all that was Cousins Camp. I've certainly enjoyed seeing my parents, siblings and their crews. I'm not too fond of the humidity. But...that's Iowa in the summer.

We're exploring a very good job lead for Mr. Amazing. The kind of job lead that will take us over 1800 miles away from our littlest cherubs. The kind of job lead that will bring an end to this season of life and fostering. (And, if you wanna know the math, I'll still be nearly 900 miles away from "home" if we actually make this move.)

Sometimes it feels just right having only five people in our group. Other times, it's like there's a giant black hole.

In a way, I think it's probably good that the littlest cherubs weren't given permission to come on this vacation with us. I'm going to be able to go back, love on them just as much...but I'll guard my own heart a little more carefully. (Because somehow I think the courts would frown on me stealing my two little brown babies and bringing them with.)

I've spoken with Pumpkin's respite provider twice. Pumpkin got sick not too far into this transition. She ran a fever and vomited once. If I had to guess, it was her body's response to stress. However, she's communicating well with the respite provider. In fact, the mom claims that Pumpkin signs after she fills her diaper. She's convinced Pumpkin is almost ready for potty training. (Me...I'm not convinced and it's highly unlikely that I'll potty train her as long as she's in my custody.)

I haven't had the guts to call the respite provider for Dude and Dolly. They're too little to talk to me on the phone so I know it wouldn't benefit them. And me...I don't think I really want to know (until I pick them up) if they're having a difficult time at respite or not. Because if they're crying at bedtime and not sleeping at night, there isn't a damn thing I can do about it from 1250 miles away. And it would just make me feel like garbage.

So, I've spoken with our agency worker a couple different times. She assures me all three cherubs are doing fine. I'm just going to stick with that for now.

I did get an email saying that Dude and Dolly have to go to court on Monday. Their CPS worker wants to arrange a visit with their mom afterward. Ya know...'cause otherwise mom isn't going to see these kids ever. (She bailed on the visit last week too.) grrrrrrr

I'm trying to not think about the drama of fostering too much while we're away. It's difficult as I've been surrounded by the most adorable two and three year olds that belong to my brother and sister. I would have loved to have included mine in the bunch and shown them off all over the state. But it wasn't to be.

We've got a few days at my parents' house yet this week. Then we're headed north to see my husband's family. Then back to my parents' for the State Fair. Then, we'll head home. 1250 miles south to home. Where...we might be for a couple more years. Where...we might be for only another month.

My life is nothing if not interesting! I'll let y'all know how this shakes out.

1 comment:

jendoop said...

Good luck with everything. Savor those last few days of vacation.

It's hard to really enjoy a few days without the foster kiddos because it makes you feel a little guilty. These things are out of your hands so go with the flow and see where God takes you next!