Thursday, September 15, 2011

Puzzle pieces

Pumpkin keeps saying "Mamma L***" over and over and over. ('s like Chinese water torture.) It's got a little cadence to it. And the repetition is very autistic-like.

She'll mix it up some. Sometimes it's just my name. Sometimes it's, "Mamma L*** coming".

This is weird. This is very, very weird.

So I'm talking to my family members about it all. My genius sister (I really should make a tag just for my genius sister) might have just unlocked it for me.

Now, everything I'm thinking here is purely speculation. I have NO IDEA why she's really saying my name over and over. However...

Pumpkin speaks almost entirely in echolalia. Usually she will repeat the names of all the Sponge Bob characters. Sometimes she'll repeat phrases she's heard us say around the house. For example, she'll say, "I love you" when we leave to go somewhere. It's not a true feeling of Pumpkin's most of the time. It's just repeating what we say. I've also heard her say, "disgusting" as I changed her diaper. And yes, she learned that one from me. <<sigh>>

So, this repeating of, "Mamma L*** coming," had to come from somewhere. Some deep dark part of me wondered if her mom had told her that she was coming back to my house. Initially the twisted thought was that Mom got caught on purpose and had maybe told Pumpkin ahead of time that this is what was going to happen.

My genius sister unlocked a more plausible answer to the puzzle though.

Pumpkin has been crying A LOT lately. Since July she's been more challenging to care for. She throws more fits and doesn't cooperate with all requests. She was doing OK enough in our home. But the respite provider had a somewhat difficult time and once she started school she cried a ton during the day. Her teacher had contacted me several times about it!!

What if....
What if Pumpkin had been crying around her mom constantly since reunification.
What if Pumpkin's mom got fed up and threatened Pumpkin. Something along the lines of, "You had better stop crying or Mamma L*** will come again."

Pumpkin is deep inside herself. It's hard to describe but she is NOT the little girl that was here before. She is dealing with a level of depression and the only way she can manage it is to cry or repeat these phrases over and over.

Tonight, while getting her ready for bed she was talking constantly. I couldn't understand most of it. But it involved my name (to the point of driving me practically insane). She also said something about, "no go outside". But mainly it was my name over and over. She can't make eye contact. She doesn't even seem aware of anything else around her. It's bizarre!

The investigator for Pumpkin's case came to the house tonight. I couldn't read her at all. She looked over Pumpkin. She didn't really react at all to any of the marks. She had seen Pumpkin just a few days ago in the home. She said she'll use the report the doctor writes up for me.

Thankfully this investigator is the same one that has followed the family for awhile now. Pumpkin's mom had the Family Services side of CPS "watching" things prior to Pumpkin's first removal. The investigator is not impressed with Pumpkin's mom's ability to parent. I'm confident she's worried about what will happen to Pumpkin should they be reunited again. But she didn't come across as confident that these new allegations will hold up in court as much. She started talking about sending Pumpkin to a dermatologist to diagnose something for Pumpkin's dry skin. She basically said in a sense that the scenario would require Mom to have to follow up with another specialist. It would give them more weight in court if Mom isn't able to maintain all the appointments.

Personally, I think that's a lame way to get a kid removed. I should think the evidence is strong enough right now.

I have to wait and see.

Oh the drama.


jendoop said...

Your sensitivity to Pumpkin is heart-warming. Despite the fact that she has been so difficult (no fault of her own), and that you thought this burden had been removed, and now it's back, including the dirty diapers, and still you are self-less enough to deconstruct her behaviors that are driving you nuts. You know that she isn't doing it to bug you, but rather out of some deeper need. IF ONLY more parents and foster parents could see their children in this way.

You have a prize winning heart Cherub Mama.

MamaFoster said...

before i got to where you wrote it I was thinking the same thing..."If you don't stop it Mama L.... is going to come and take you away again."

I would be willing to bet money on it. so so so sad.