Friday, September 2, 2011

Reunification

Pumpkin smiled and played along at bedtime last night. I'm glad I got one more chance to see her in a playful kind of mood. She had completely shut down since we came home from vacation.

I went through the morning thinking...this is the last time I have to prepare all these medications. This is my last time to brush her teeth. This my last.... (Pumpkin did me a favor today and didn't even poop her diaper so that "last" happened a couple days ago! Yeah!!)

Today proved to be very interesting! I had offered for Pumpkin's mom to ride along with me to Pumpkin's appointments today. She thought that sounded good. When I sent her a text this morning at 7:00 she said she'd call me when she got close to my house. She was supposed to meet me at 10:00.

Well, sometime between 7AM and 9AM Pumpkin's mom completely forgot this conversation and drove herself to Pumpkin's first appointment. When I called her at 10:00 and asked her where she was (because we needed to leave to make the 11:00 appointment) she said she was already there.

That shook me a little. In just two hours she forgot what time Pumpkin's appointment was and how she was going to get there.

On a positive note...I did get to spend most of the day with Pumpkin's mom. I was able to talk to Mom about some of the details she might need to know...as so much as changed with Pumpkin since she cared for her last. And since we were together for so long, I peppered the conversation periodically with this information instead of overwhelming her with it all at once.

I had to laugh when Pumpkin's mom asked me how I do Pumpkin's hair. She wanted to know how I brush it when Pumpkin is throwing a fit. She said that Pumpkin doesn't let her brush her hair either. I just smiled and said that I keep on brushing even if Pumpkin cries. Getting ready in the morning is a non-negotiable. I told her that Pumpkin used to complain to me all the time but now she just sits there like she's supposed to. I really wanted to give Mom a "lecture" about how she is the parent and Pumpkin is the child. But I knew most of that would probably fly over her head so I bit my tongue. Besides, Pumpkin having nice hair is the least of my concerns now. I'm praying that Mom will brush her teeth...even though Pumpkin complains. And that Mom will make sure she goes to school...even though Pumpkin complains. And that Mom will take her to all the necessary appointments...even though Pumpkin complains.

Mom and I parted ways after the last appointment. All in all things went well. I made sure to tell Mom that I'm a resource for her if she needs anything. I even offered to babysit if the need arises. She truly seemed grateful. We're not best of friends -- but I'm sure she's not threatened by me and understands that I only want what is best for Pumpkin.

Pumpkin and I came back home. I had to finish folding and inventorying all of her things. I called CPS to let them know I was ready. Her worker came over right away.

The transfer was non-eventful.  Pumpkin muttered a quiet goodbye as they buckled her into the car. She seemed completely unemotional overall. But...this is Pumpkin. It didn't hurt my feelings.

Explaining things to Dude and Dolly will take another post. That in and of itself has been a unique challenge. They seem to be handling things OK so far.

I'm not happy. But I'm not sad either. Everyone keeps asking how I'm doing. I'm not sure how to answer them without sounding cold-hearted. I smile and say I'm happy for Pumpkin and I'm praying for her mom.


3 comments:

MamaFoster said...

glad everything went smoothly

Sunday said...

praying for all

jendoop said...

You've still got your hands full with Dolly and Dude and your own kiddos so you may not feel the emptiness as much this time. Don't feel bad about that. Celebrate a little girl being back with her mom, even in imperfection.