Monday, December 19, 2011


Back in November, at the family visit before the court hearing, Dude and Dolly's mom told them that their grandma in D*** had a houseful of presents for them. When the judge ruled that they weren't going to go with grandma just yet, not getting those presents seemed to be the only thing that upset the children. (They don't know this grandma other than during that very brief visit before the hearing.)

Presents are rolling in to our home right now. Presents from our foster care agency. Presents from the county. Presents from my family in the Midwest. Presents from us.

But no presents from grandma. (And yes, Dolly has noticed this.)

Part of me wants to "fix" this and wrap a present or two up and say they're from Grandma. But I'm not a big fan of misleading children. And something about that kind of deception doesn't sit right with me.

Boy I wish this grandma was doing more to foster a relationship with these kids. I know she lives far away. But my family lives 1200 miles away and there's more relationship with them than there is with Grandma. Little notes have been sent. Phone calls happen. And yes, there have been presents given.

It's so hard to continue to build up this grandma as a wonderful person. I know my doing it will make the transition easier for the kids. If they believe with all their hearts that Grandma loves and and wants them, leaving us won't be as difficult. But I feel a bit like a fraud.

Mom isn't capable of doing anything for her kids right now. It is my understanding that she is currently in court-ordered rehab. They aren't even having their one hour visit with mom this month.

1 comment:

Mama P said...

I don't think it'd be any more fraud than telling our kids Santa brings them presents if they're good...

I'm sorry you have to even consider this. :(