Thursday, February 16, 2012


Mr. Wonky has been making a lot of visits to our house lately. I've always figured we'd need outside therapy to help us eventually. But the environment where we live makes me incredibly skeptical of anyone in the medical profession. I know that a "therapist" isn't a medical professional. But it's close. It's someone who is supposed to help with how we think about things. It's brain work. I know I'm being dramatic. But I won't let just anyone close to this part of my children.

Anyway... after a particularly exhausting run-around with Mr. Wonky recently, Cherub 2 and I were sitting on the floor of the kitchen hiding from everyone behind the island. We were talking very quietly. As we processed all that had just happened, he shared with me that his counselor at school hasn't been meeting with him. She had said that she would. They had made arrangements for her to call for him at 9:00 during computer time. Each day 9:00 would come and go and my little guy would feel abandoned all over again.

I asked him if he wanted to talk to a different counselor. His older brother Herman had worked with a counselor before. Cherub 2 had an idea of what it all entailed. With a sigh of relief, he answered yes, he would like to talk to a counselor.

Now...I had to find one.

Since moving to this part of the country I've had the pleasure(??) of meeting five different counselors. The first one scared me to death. He was everything a counselor shouldn't be. To sum up the first meeting, he basically said that ALL foster kids are alike. They are all cut from the same cloth. And my two little girls just needed to get over it. They weren't being abused any more so they had no reason to act up at all. Needless to say, he was not welcome in my house ever again.

The second counselor was wonderful. Marvelous. Amazing. She understood trauma. She deeply cared. She was a play therapist who knew it was about establishing, very slowly, a relationship first. Unfortunately, the court decided she wasn't going to be allowed to work with the girls we had at the time. The relationship was a short one.

The third counselor was court ordered. She didn't scare me. But she sure didn't impress me!!

Counselors #4 and #5 were for my oldest son and for myself. I only saw mine twice. He was perfect for me. Herman's counselor was OK. She helped Herman through some rough spots. But both these counselors were through a non-profit ministry at a local church. And neither one seemed like a good fit for Cherub 2.

Who I really wanted to work with was Counselor #2. (Let's call her Ms. Fowler.) Ms. Fowler lives/works almost 2 hours away from where we live. I decided that a drive is worth it if we're going to be receiving quality counseling. I googled her name and got a phone number.

I got lucky. Not only was the number current, it was her cell phone and I got to talk to her immediately. She let me know that she wasn't working for our agency anymore. I said that wasn't a problem because I was looking to help my son (not a foster child). She was surprised that I would want to commute that far for counseling. I explained that if it's quality therapy, it's worth the drive. She went on to say that she doesn't have an office that she counsels out of right now but an associate of hers was willing to loan hers out. We negotiated a fee. She said she'd talk to her friend and get back with me.

God has got to be all over this. Not only was I able to find the counselor I wanted, but she called me back and said that it would be better for her to come to our home! For only $5 more per session, she's going to drive to our home to do the therapy!!! And...weekends work best for her. I'm not going to have to try and work this in after school. I'm so happy!!

Ms. Fowler is going to schedule our first appointment for this Sunday afternoon. (We already have plans on Saturday that involve mandatory foster parent training that can't be rescheduled.) I'm excited to add another person in to the whole Mr. Wonky mess. Cherub 2 seems pleased. I don't know if he has expectations of what therapy is going to look like. But he regularly says he doesn't like Mr. Wonky and he wants to keep him away. Me, I just like having another person involved that understands trauma. I'm anxious to hear her take on things.


Last Mom said...

Wow! That is so awesome! Can't wait to read her insight and wisdom through you!

MamaFoster said...

So glad that worked out!