Tuesday, May 15, 2012

A couple clarifications

I love getting comments. I mean...I really love getting comments! So, thank you to all y'all that respond to what I have to say.

Sometimes when I get comments I'll open up the blog post I wrote and I'll read it again. I find it very interesting to go over my own post after seeing what people had to say about it.

Well, I did that last night and decided there are a couple things I need to clarify.

I do not regret a single thing I said to Abby. Not one thing. The ONLY reason I wanted Rainbow and Miss Supervisor to help smooth things over is because I'm not a fan of making poor first impressions. And since she interpreted my intentions as being angry and argumentative, I did want a little support in explaining why I might have responded that way. And now that it looks like I'll be "working with" this person for four more months, I'm glad I handled things the way I did. I will not let the professionals demean what I do day in and day out as a foster mom. I will always bend over backwards to meet the incredibly unrealistic scheduling expectations. But the least they can do is acknowledge that their expectations are unrealistic and that I am in fact doing them a favor by bending over backwards.

I said that maternal great grandma was the cherubs' primary care giver before they came in to care. When I went back and read my words it almost sounded like I was saying she was responsible for their neglect. That is not the case. From what I can put together, she was the person the cherubs' bio mom dumped the babies on when she wasn't going to care for the kids. In all honesty, I think the cherubs made the rounds through lots of different family members in their home town. Great Grandma just took care of them a lot. I believe it was when Great Grandma finally took a tough-love approach with the childrens' bio mom that things fell apart and they came in to care. Deep down this woman wants her granddaughter to get better, step up and get her kids back. (And I don't fault her one bit for having those feelings!) But in the meantime, she thinks they are better off with us than they would be with their paternal grandma. I wish more than anything that we could get CPS out of the way and the kids and I could spend more time with Great Grandma. She dearly loves them and just wants to be their grandma.

I'm still in shock about all that took place yesterday. I'm tired. No...I'm exhausted. I got up this morning and showered and then put on a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt. I threw my hair up in a do-rag and I'm going to stay at home all day.

It's been kind of fun to talk to the kids since everything happened. I get to say for sure, "You'll be here this summer. Yes, we'll go to the beach. Mamma & Poppy will take you to Sea World again." It's so nice to know that we've got all summer together and I can say YES to so many things.

The cherubs don't seem too shook up from yesterday. They are tired. They have told me they love me about a million times. Dolly keeps saying, "You happy I stay here Mamma. You happy." When I reassure her that, yes, I am very happy she got to stay here she answers, "I happy too Mamma." But neither cherub seems to care about not going north. Neither cherub has much to say about their Grandma. In fact, all they can talk about is getting to see their great grandma yesterday.

I wish I knew what the State was going to do next. It feels so wrong to wish anything against the bio parents. But, if want to keep these kids, the next part of the adventure needs to involve termination and then adoption. Otherwise, this will just go on and on and on.


Mandy said...

Wow! What a turn of events. I am so glad the kids are with you for now. I hope they stay with you forever. I am also glad you spoke up to Abby. It is hard enough to do this "work" everyday while having people who see the kids irregularly at best treat us as if we are irritating babysitters.

Anonymous said...

Just getting caught up after a few days offline... It's better news than we hoped for, but you're right, still not the definitive end these little cherubs need. Children need permanency. They need forever homes. They need an end to the transitions and the uncertainties.

And YES, they need to form healthy attachments to their caregivers. What on earth? I don't know that you can pursue that comment without looking defensive, unless it would be via asking Abby's supervisor for clarification? But it just seems like going very far down that path might make you look bad.

Anyway... I love the feeling that you can say, YES, we will go to the pool this summer. God can still move mountains come September. I will pray that he does.