Thursday, May 31, 2012

More on going home

Thank you for all the comments about me going home for a summer vacation. I think I've got my plan for how I'm going to ask in place.

However, I left off a pretty big detail when I listed out the situation for y'all to consider.


Miss Supervisor has nothing to do with whether or not I get respite. She can tell me that the children cannot go and that's the end of her involvement. If I still plan on going, it falls to my agency and/or myself to secure respite. Literally, Miss Supervisor has no motivation to let the children go to Iowa. Ya know, other than the fact it would be in their best interests. It would be fun. They'd get to experience things they'll never get to do with their bio family. And it would be best to keep them with us instead of with strangers. But I seriously don't think Miss Supervisor gives a rip about the children's best interests.

I spoke with Bluebell last night (Pumpkin's CPS worker). She seems to think if I offer up a family visit with Grandma in Dallas that Miss Supervisor might be more inclined to say yes. She also thinks that I should go above Miss Supervisor's head if I am told no. I don't know who Miss Supervisor's supervisor is though. I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. As for approaching the judge - that idea is really out of the question. No one in my circle knows who this judge is. And since he/she is just now taking over, I don't want to go that high up the food chain. Honestly, Miss Supervisor just needs to say yes.  :)

It's all a toss up really. Bluebell agreed that Miss Supervisor is a whack job and it could go either way. But there is a significant advantage to her if these kids get to see Grandma without the Department having to pay for it.

I'm OK with them having a visit too. Honest - I am. I look at it two ways.
1. If I am actually a part of the visit, I am showing Dude and Dolly that this situation is OK (whether or not it really is in the long run is completely irrelevant). It should be easier for them. (Much, much easier than flying all day with a stranger to go visit a virtual stranger in a strange place.) I can help them feel safer. This is a good thing. In the long run, I think it would make a permanent transition to Grandma's easier on the children too.
2. If (if if if if if if if) this case ever did move towards termination instead of placement with Grandma, all parties involved could see that I am in favor of open adoption.

I'm going to check with Rainbow and see if she can find out who Miss Supervisor's supervisor is. I'm going to make my request via email. That way Miss Supervisor will be able to read my entire question and have to think it over a little before I'm told no.

I'm not holding my breath. And I don't know if I'll go to Iowa if the answer I'm given is no. I can't imagine telling Dude and Dolly they don't get to see these people they know and love and that they have to stay with strangers instead. Again though, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Maybe Daphne will be around (instead of visiting her family in Florida). If that was the case the cherubs might not even need official respite. They could stay at Daphne's during the day and come back home at night. Mr. Amazing could probably handle things OK if Daphne helped out. (He works full time and I will NOT send Dude and Dolly to the horrible day care for two weeks.)

I tried to do this trip last year and was shot down by every single person involved (except Rainbow). Their lawyer wouldn't even entertain the thought so I'm not sure the judge got asked. A lot of the folks down here don't like the idea of foster kids leaving the state. Bluebell said it's largely up to the worker though. She's had cases of hers where she let the kids go all over the country.

So I'm going to ask Miss Supervisor. I'm going to pray she says yes. And I'll go from there.


Jennifer said...

I cannot even believe that you have to go through this song and dance. All I do is email my worker with where we are going (address), dates, and any other adults over 18 that are staying at the same house (and they need to submit to a background check if they haven't already). A few weeks later she emails the travel authorization. Such a shame that lots of foster kids are missing out on fun vacations.

Mama P said...

So sad for the's frustrating for you, but even more sad that children in our country have to live at the mercy of someone like Miss Supervisor just to have a normal childhood experience. :( Thank Heavens they know nothing of it.