Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Pumpkin's "last" visit

Pumpkin has her "last" visit with her mom in 30 minutes. No, TPR has not taken place. But Pumpkin is being moved all the way across the state. The odds of her mom ever going to see her are quite slim. Besides, Bio Mom is quite ill now and is unable to even care for herself at this point in time. This goodbye visit is taking place at Pumpkin's grandma's house.

The visit is from 4:30-6:30. Mr. Amazing won't be home yet. In order to follow all the rules (and keep TT & Bart from killing each other) I have to pack up all five of my little kids to drop Pumpkin off.

This visit is taking place roughly 2 miles away from my home. Her social worker is supervising the visit and will practically have to drive right past my house to get there.

It's raining right now.

I sent a text to Miss Worker: "Is there any way you could pick up Pumpkin for the visit today so I don't have to take five kids out in the rain?"

Her reply: "I'm sorry but since I have never assisted Pumpkin in getting off a vehicle I would not want to risk her falling. Bio Mom is not well enough to assist me."

Oh holy potatoes! THIS is the answer I get?! This candy-ass little SSW is too chicken to help Pumpkin in and out of a car?!


I just spent the last 30 minutes in a vehicle with several dysregulated kids. Oh joy. (Nothing is more fun than plunking four kids in a vehicle for an errand that bores them to tears. Especially when said errand falls on the same day all children had to drive two hours for another visit that morning.) First, I went to the wrong XYZ Street. Because, yes, there are two of them separated by a block that won't let you go through. And of course, my GPS system took me to the wrong half of the street.

When I finally got to the correct address, I got out and spoke briefly with the SSW. Then I opened up the door to my Suburban and told Pumpkin to get out. I didn't even hold my hand out for her. Now...Pumpkin cannot really get out on her own very well. But I really wanted to make a point to the caseworker. When I could tell that she was watching and that Pumpkin really did need my assistance, I held my hand out and Pumpkin stepped down. It was that simple.

Without prompting, SSW said, "I'll go ahead and bring Pumpkin home. She doesn't have the problems I thought she did."

Yippee ki ay

The lovely little SSW is also going to come into my home and take an assessment of how many things Pumpkin has that will need to be moved. I'm getting just a touch frustrated with this process too. She keeps insisting that we will be able to check four bags on our flight for Pumpkin when we go. I had to quite sternly inform her that I will not be donating four suitcases to the state of Texas.

SSW says that's not a problem. She'll get bags for me.

But still...Pumpkin has toys. Toys that need to be protected when they are packed. I sure wish I knew what the SSW is honestly thinking. Besides, I don't have all of Pumpkin's things packed yet. Exactly how is she going to know how much stuff Pumpkin has until it's all packed?!


I'm anxious for Pumpkin to be moved. I'm anxious for this chapter to be over. I'm so burned out with "Foster Parenting" right now!! The kids...oh how I love the kids! But the actual job of Foster Parenting....I'm tired of it!! I'll be glad when I'm down to juggling just the needs of one particular case.


Anonymous said...

I hear you! I totally understand loving the kids and hating the job. Good luck to you as you close this one chapter of your foster care journey.

Melissa said...

One suggestion... You can use a box instead of a suitcase. Check the airlines for size specifications. I checked 4 boxes per child when 2 of mine left.

Melissa said...

Sorry, one other thing...DFPS can ship any other boxes that you have for Pumpkin at their expense. They shipped my kids bikes to their new home.

CherubMamma said...

@Melissa - I do plan on using at least one box to pack the more fragile toys. But, DFPS has already said that they aren't going to ship anything at their expense. I'm expected to figure out how to ship everything on the flight only. It's a pain!!

I'm considering spending my own money to ship one box of diapers and wipes (and anything else I can cram in the box). Pumpkin's diapers can't be easily purchased at a store (she wears a size 7) and I was unable to get Medicaid to agree to ship the most recent order to the aunt and uncle's. I don't want them to ever be without diapers that fit and the box of those supplies is too big to lug around an airport.

Jess said...

I have added a foster parent forum to my blog and wanted to let you and anyone else that may be interested know about it. I'm hoping it can be a place for foster parents to connect, share ideas, ask questions, post prayer requests etc.

I'd love for you to check it out,

~Jess @ fosteringinthedeepend.blogspot.com