Friday, February 15, 2013

I'll probably never know

After every single trip to Dallas the cherubs tell me they slept in Grandma N's bed with Grandma. (Though one time they did say that Grandma N slept on the floor.)

But when I ask them who slept in "their" room I get varied answers. They get nervous. One kid will tell me one thing. Five minutes later they'll tell me something different. They'll tell me it was their tia and tio. They'll tell me it was their cousins. They'll tell me it was nobody.

Like I covered before though, my kids CANNOT answer open ended questions. And even though I'm asking something rather direct like, "who slept in the other room?" -- they cannot answer.

I've got a level of uneasiness over me this morning that is stronger than usual. I don't like my kids being exposed to drug dealers. I don't like the idea of my kids hanging around gang members. I don't like the idea of my kids spending time with a felon that is running from the law. I have a real problem with Grandma having those people in her home. I have a bigger problem with CPS not investigating who actually lives with Grandma N!!

I'm glad that Bio Dad is in jail. But honestly...I know that Grandma N has a problem with Bio Dad. CPS told me as much. I know that Grandma N wanted all contact with Bio Dad to happen at a CPS office. (Of course CPS never assisted with this request. They don't care what happens in Dallas.)'s this uncle (Tio E) that I have a problem with. At the very beginning, well over a year ago, I was told that Grandma N lives with her son, his wife (though from FB I can now tell it's just his girlfriend), and their baby. CPS told me this!!!

And the children tell me that Tio E sleeps at Grandma N's house. So I have no reason to believe that he is actually living anywhere else (despite what his parole papers said).

But this morning I casually asked if Baby M (Tio E and Tia B's very young son) sleeps at Grandma N's house. The cherubs said no. They said he has his own house. But that contradicts what they said just last night when they told me Tia B sleeps at Grandma N's house. (As they gear up for a trip to Dallas they do chatter about it more. They just never have much real information. It's stuff like, "Tia B buys us pies from McDonald's.")

I do not know if they literally don't know who lives with Grandma and who doesn't or if they are being coached in Dallas to say certain things.

And honestly...I'm probably never going to know. Nobody from CPS is going to investigate the situation at Grandma's house. And the children will never be able to tell anyone exactly who is there either.

I REALLY hate this part of foster care. It's one thing to have to say goodbye. It's another thing when it seems so obvious that the children are going to an environment that is not safe. I know many of my readers have had to live through this themselves. It's so sad. There is a System that is supposed to be in place to protect these kids! If Dude and Dolly lived with Tio E and Tia B all the time, and one or both of them got arrested for the crimes they are currently participating in (because I'm sure Tia B is not innocent), CPS would remove these children. That's how it works. That's how the children came in to Care to begin with -- their mom got arrested.

Well, Tio E is currently wanted by federal authorities for some pretty serious crimes. He's got an active FB page that leads me to believe he is absolutely up to no good. But CPS doesn't care if he lives with Grandma. CPS doesn't care if my kids are exposed to this lifestyle on an intimate level. All they see is a Grandma that says she'll take the kids. That is all they see so that is all they care about.

And somehow I have to be OK with all of this in 2.5 hours when Minnie shows up to get the kids.


orphanmother said...

Your kids story is so sad. I pray that God will intervene and they can stay with you.
But I am learning to truly feel from our case, that foster parents are to "house" the kids and not have any input. Just let them live with you, and then when the system (whoever that may be) make the decisions. They want to hear the kids are good, and off they go. Don't ask any questions, and when they do if you have something other than positive, no work involved answers all is good. But if you tell them the visits are hurting the kids, they are not developing or progressing in headstart/preschool, not going to kindergarten due to lack of learning (didn't learn anything in headstart, which foster care insisted she go to)a real joke. Then you need to back off. If all we are to do is house them, then don't lie to us during all the classes how important we are. How valued foster parents are...............I am sick of foster care too! It abuses these kids over and over by allowing visits with drug addicted parents who are clean for a minute to see them............then oh wait they are off using for a month or 6 weeks, guess the kids wait and wonder. Sorry.....yes I am venting. DONE... enjoy the day. I am attempting to know in my heart that God is still in control, even if the State of Michigan thinks they are :)

NK Sailor said...

OMG. That's so awful and heart breaking!!! Can CPS in Dallas be contacted about Grandma? Can the FBI be given a tip about the uncle? Am I just stating really obvious stuff here that is not feasible??

Hugs. We need to get together soon. I gave up FB for Lent and will have to get back on to retrieve your phone number and/or email from our private messages.