I don't know what to do anymore. I seriously don't know how to advocate. I'm completely worn out. And when I do try to call someone, I literally get sick. My heart races so fast I can feel it in my chest. I physically ache. It becomes difficult to breathe. Just writing about it puts a tingle in my arms.
CPS thinks things are just hunky-dory in Dallas. Despite the fact that Grandma N has NO relationship with these cherubs, CPS is perfectly find sending them there to live forever.
You can read all my reasons why I think Dallas is a bad idea for my cherubs in previous posts. I won't rehash it all. Simply put now though, Grandma N has many, many people in and out of her apartment every day. One of the individuals is her son. This man is currently wanted by the federal government on some rather substantial charges.
My licensing agency spoke with a supervisor at CPS about the uncle in question. CPS's answer to the problem...they'll tell Grandma N that Tio E can't come over when the kids are there.
During the last visit my cherubs had in Dallas, Tio E spent time at the apartment (possibly even slept there) and he drove the children around in his car.
Doesn't sound like CPS really gives a damn if he's around or not.
I've left two messages for the GAL to call me concerning the case in general. He has not called me back.
I called the probation department. They confirmed that Tio E is on probation and that there is a warrant out for his arrest at this very moment. He violated his probation back in November and has been "hiding" from the law since. I believe he has had contact with my cherubs every month they have gone to Dallas. The probation department said there's nothing that could be done unless I could say specifically that Tio E is at a specific location at a specific time. I cannot do that.
CASA is not an option. Trust me.
The attorney for the cherubs is only concerned about the legality of things. I'm not sure what I'd even say if I called her.
Because let me refresh your memory -- the lawyers and guardians down here don't give a damn. They do not spend time with the children outside of court at all. They pretty much just do whatever CPS tells them to do. Besides, my cherubs are on their third lawyer. This last attorney (and the guardian for that matter - the cherubs finally do have separate representation) was assigned in January. She doesn't know my kids. She doesn't know the case. She just doesn't know.
I don't know what to do anymore. I seriously don't know how to advocate. I could call the lawyer and the guardian over and over and over I guess. But what would I really accomplish? I'm asking someone to do their job and that is out of the norm down here.
The only thing I can think of is to legally intervene. I've prayed over this many times. I just don't think this is what we are supposed to do.
Will someone tell me it's OK to just be their mom now? To stop "advocating". That it's OK to speak up when asked but I can stop feeling guilty about not knowing what to do?
Because I'm worn out.