Wednesday, March 20, 2013

He never calls....he never writes....

but the lawyer is in agreement that Dolly could use a haircut!!! I'm so glad I included the Guardian in the email that I sent.

I took Dude and Dolly to a visit in their home town tonight so they could see Great Grandma P. When Minnie met me at the door, she told me (out of the blue) that Dolly is going to be allowed to get a haircut.

I squealed with joy!

Minnie said that Bio Mom has not given permission yet, but the lawyer has signed off on it. All we need now is a judge's signature. I'm confident that won't be a problem.

Minnie said that Bio Dad (via Grandma N) said it's OK to cut the hair. Grandma N also is in agreement. (I'm quite confident that Bio Dad is NOT...but Grandma N wants it cut badly enough that I'm sure she lied on his behalf.) After the judge signs off, Minnie will send a letter to Bio Mom (who is still in jail) and...well...Bio Mom will just have to deal with it.

There is no specific amount of hair I can cut off but I assured Minnie I will just take it above the waist. I just measured how much hair that will be and I'm pretty sure Dolly will get to donate a 15" long ponytail to Locks of Love.

With all the crap that IS this case...I was happy to hear this news tonight. Dolly is going to be so thrilled to be allowed to wear her hair down. Both of us will appreciate the ease of brushing that this haircut will bring.

You know you're a foster parent when a haircut can bring this much euphoria!

8 comments:

Foster Mom - R said...

Thank God for small miracles! And how awesome she can donate it! My Gabby did that and it was so cool. She's currently growing it out again to donate a second time.

CherubMamma said...

I've tried to explain to Dolly what "donate" means. I've tried to explain who her hair will be able to help. Unfortunately - it all flies right over her head.
I'll take a million pictures though. She'll understand when she gets older. It's going to be beautiful!

acceptance with joy said...

Sweet!

Mitzy said...

Nice!

Heliotrope Tree House said...

I am surprised to read (I'm probably REALLY naive) that you need to get permission from her family to cut her hair. I am a new reader, so I may have missed important info as to why her hair is so long. Sounds like it is way passed her waist. Oh, my! Were there religious reasons for this? I have never heard of something like this before. You must be thrilled about the permission, but again, wondering why?

CherubMamma said...

No problem Heliotrope....

When you are a foster parent, the bio parents hold the decision as to when the hair may be cut. Many years ago, before the rule was put into place, foster parents often simply cut all the hair off the kids....due to hygiene issues, ease of care, whatever. However, this practice by foster parents was often an offense to those cultures where long hair is extremely valued (namely the Native Americans I believe). Now, because of the unscrupulous behaviors of foster parents before me, I have to have the permission of the bio parents in order to cut the hair.

My little girl has EXTREMELY long hair. I've longed to give her a haircut since she came to me almost 2 years ago. It wasn't until recently though that my daughter also wanted her hair cut. When she started crying during styling sessions, I decided I needed to formally ask for a cut again. Her hair is not long for any specific reason other than her mom had never cut it before. I believe that initially they (as a family) might have promised that they weren't going to cut it until some family member got out of prison. But no one at CPS is particularly sure about that or not. Up until now, I've just been told I can't touch a hair on her head. (Dude has a nasty little rat tail on the back of his neck I'm not allowed to touch either.)

Bio parents hang on to whatever power they can get. In our case, Bio Mom REFUSED to allow a haircut. Because I pleaded my case with the lawyer (citing my daughter's inability to care for her hair herself and how the length posed a hygiene issue), the lawyer saw my side of the story. We have to get final permission from a judge and then I'll get to take her in for a haircut. It shouldn't be a problem though. In this case, Bio Mom is back in jail and the State has NO plans of reunifying with Bio Mom. She's just going to have to deal with the fact that her daughter is getting some of the length taken off!

And I can't wait!!!

Meg0422 said...

I'm very excited! Hopefully now that they've listened (for once), maybe they'll listen at the next hearing. I keep crossing my fingers that the judge will approve it. Keep us up to date!

<3

Beth Murray said...

I understand. My 8 month old has an Afro-Mohawk that identifies him to oppositional family in this small town. Congratulations on your haircut permission!!