Friday, March 8, 2013

I just hit "send"

I spent the afternoon in another required foster parent training. It was just me and Mr. Amazing so we got off topic a lot! It felt good to vent to another social worker about all the CRAP this IS this case. It also made me want to cry when even he recognized that there's almost nothing we can do to further advocate for our cherubs' safety. If CPS doesn't want to believe that Tio E lives with Grandma N...well...there's nothing I can do.

Like others, he tossed out the idea of calling the local police the next time my kids are there for a visit. But when I made the comment, "What if they find out I did it?! I don't want to get investigated again," he paused and shook his head. Me leaping to that sort of a conclusion is not out of the question. CPS doesn't want me to advocate. If I do, they can make my life miserable. They have that power. Like it or not, I'm the one that has to be treated like an idiot. I'm the one that has to answer to everyone about any parenting decision I make. I'm the one that has to keep piles and piles of paperwork justifying everything. I'm the one that has to attend hours and hours of redundant training that barely scratches the surface of what it's like to parent a child from the hurt places. The kinship placement does get different rules and expectations. They shouldn't. But they do.

Since I can't do anything about the big picture, I decided to bite the bullet with a smaller issue. I finally mustered up the courage to pen the following email, attach some pictures and hit the send button. I know I won't hear anything today. It'll be interesting to see if anyone responds though. I sent this to Minnie, Rainbow and the new GAL.

Dolly would like to request a haircut. Because she is only five years old, I am helping her out with this request. Anything you can do to help would be much appreciated.

1. Dolly's hair has not stopped growing since she came in to Care. As evidenced by the attached photos, her hair is now down to her knees.

2. Dolly desires to wear her hair like her classmates at school (not up in a ponytail or braid). This is currently not possible due to the overwhelming length of her hair. It would get in the way at school and at play.
4. Dolly occasionally cries during the times that her hair must be brushed. It takes a long time to care for this much hair and she is tired of the process and the pain when it comes to getting out the tangles.
5. The hair also must be pulled up at all times for hygiene reasons. Even in a ponytail it still reaches past her waist now. (This poses as a health concern to me.)
6. As a foster parent, I am unable to teach Dolly to care for her hair herself as it is too long. She is not physically capable of washing and rinsing her hair, brushing it or getting out the inevitable tangles.
7. Her bio mom is currently in jail and has no contact with Dolly. The bio parents have not agreed to haircuts which is why I need further legal permission to do this.
8. The paternal grandmother that the State wishes to place Dolly with is also in agreement that a haircut is needed.

Dolly would like permission to cut her hair up to above her waistline.
Please let me know if you need any additional information.
Thank you.
Cherub Mamma


MamaFoster said...

You might be a foster mom ever ha write such a ridiculous email ! Seriously, do u want me to call the police for you? Because I totally will. You know I will.

CherubMamma said...

MamaFoster -- I've considered outsourcing the phone call to the police. I honestly have. :)

My best friend from across the street has a Florida cell phone number though. I'll probably just borrow her phone if I muster up the courage for that phone call.

Seriously though...what the Hell would I say?! I'm too honest. I cannot lie. It would eat me alive if I did.
So I call the police.....
Me: "Hello. I'm calling to report that there might be a wanted felon at this apartment address."
Police: "How do you know?"
Me: "Um....I can't tell you."

Because if I out myself I'm doomed. And what else could I say?! Other than telling them that my children are there, what reason would I have to call?!

I hate foster care so damn much today!!!!

Karen said...

I was also wondering if you wanted volunteers to call the police for you. Of course, they may wonder why someone in Ontario, Canada has that info, because my reaction would be the same when they asked how I knew that information ;). I really hope somebody will do what it takes to get Dolly a haircut. :(

CandCFamily said...

The haircut thing is BEYOND ridiculous.
Have someone call and say they read it on an internet page of a friend that he was there. It could be viewed as very plausible.

Mie said...

Um...I happen to be REALLY, REALLY close (as in birthed his child) to a police officer in the big D. I know...if it's helpful.

CherubMamma said...

Mie -- I just emailed you to the address we've corresponded on before.

I'd LOVE to talk to you. I've got all the addresses and information. Any official help I could get to keep my kids safe would be much appreciated.
(They'll be in Dallas this weekend - Friday night through Sunday morning.)