Spelling. The fit today was brought on by spelling words.
First his socks were on his feet funny. He tugged at them. Then he fell to the floor.
When I didn't IMMEDIATELY respond, he started fussing and whining.
I ignored it some more.
Then came the full-on temper tantrum.
I got down in his face and quietly whispered that if he kicked my table, I would spank his bottom. (He's mine forever...I can do this. And he was still in control at that point in time.)
He spun around and kicked the air. He kicked a little closer to the table. He got coy and kicked the wall right next to the table.
I spanked him. One minor swat to the bottom. Nothing more.
He COMPLETELY freaked out.
I decided to out-crazy the crazy and I told him we were going for a drive. I HAD to do something. I told him to get up and walk or I would carry him. He screamed at me. I told him to get up and walk. He screamed again. I counted to three.
Without missing a beat, my 16yo son grabbed my purse and said he'd carry it for me. I picked up my wailing 9yo and carried/drug him to the car. I pretty much threw him and and started to back out the driveway. (You know you've been doing "this" for awhile when your teenager isn't even phased and calmly goes along without saying a word.)
He flopped around in the vehicle. He screamed at me that he wasn't buckled in. I calmly told him he had better buckle up because if I got pulled over he'd have a lot of talking to do with the officer. He buckled up.
I drove in silence.
He regulated quickly. We began to talk.
I asked him what he had been thinking about. He told me that it was complicated.
I asked him what color his feelings were. He answered pink. I knew that was a lie so I elaborated. I asked him if it was a pretty pink or something darker like an owie. He said it was something darker like an owie. I asked him if it made him smile or if it looked hurt and broken. He said hurt and broken.
I asked him if his feelings were an animal what would they be. He answered an rhino.
My cherub is very knowledgeable about animals. He knows that rhinos have almost no predators. I told him that it must be pretty scary to have feelings so big and powerful. I asked him if he had anything bigger and more powerful than the rhino.
He said, "Yes. I have you."
Breaking all "rules" I asked him to come up to the front seat of the car. At this point in time we needed to connect. I needed to be able to touch him. He climbed up next to me and held my hand.
I drove. I drove to a drive-thru. Because when your kid is totally freaking out and throwing a temper tantrum it's totally normal to get out of the house and buy milkshakes for everyone.
OK. It's NOT normal. But it seemed like the right thing to do at the time.
I looked at TT and said, "So...am I rewarding you for throwing a temper tantrum?"
He sheepishly looked at me and answered yes.
I looked back at him and said, "No. I am NOT rewarding you for throwing a temper tantrum. I am angry for your behavior at home. But I AM buying the son I love oh so very much some ice cream."
During our ride to the drive-thru TT shared with me that his complicated feelings involve a fear that he is going to become injured and have to stay in the hospital for a year. I'm not sure exactly where this fear is coming from but I have to assume it's been festering ever since Mr. Amazing's motorcycle accident. I wish I knew how to help him through this. I'm confident it ties in with his overwhelming fear of abandonment. Everything seems to tie back to that with TT.
I sure hope we get to the bottom of this one soon though. When I got home Bart showed me a huge hole in the stairwell leading upstairs. It seems that one of TT's tantrums today involved kicking the wall. He's getting bigger. The damage is getting bigger. It's very frustrating!
Fast forward to the last subject of the day....Language Arts – Composition.
It seems that writing is always a trigger for TT. (I'm considering having him tested for dyslexia next year.) Anyway....writing is so scary that it brought about another tantrum.
First a pencil was broken and thrown across the room.
Then a dining room chair was knocked over and broken beyond repair.
It's been a rough day. Here's to hoping we can all sleep well and recover quickly. I'm emotionally spent!