Sunday, March 10, 2013

McDonald's is therapeutic

Friday I had to leave Dude and Dolly in day care for the day. Mr. Amazing and I had a mandatory foster parent training. Dude's school was out for spring break and Dolly's school was doing some things that day that I'm not in favor of (celebrations she would have been excluded from because I did not have her do any "selling"). And because she would have needed to go to day care after school...I just had her stay there all day.

Day care stresses my kids out!!!

Saturday Mr. Amazing rose to outstanding heights. As we were falling asleep Friday night he said, "I'm going to go out Saturday morning, but I'll let you sleep in 'til 9:00 if that's OK." For the most part, our kids can handle things on Saturday morning without too much issue. Most of the time I make up sandwiches ahead of time. But if I'm being honest, it's usually better if an adult gets up by 7:45-8:15 and starts managing things. (TT is always up first - often before 7:00. He's not allowed to turn the TV on until 7AM though. Dude and Dolly roll downstairs 15 to 30 minutes later. Bart wakes up when he wakes up....sometimes it's early. Sometimes he sleeps in.)

The change in routine...with Mr. Amazing being up and me being in a bedroom with the door closed...stressed my kids out!!!

Saturday afternoon I had to leave to take Herman to an eye doctor appointment and to a counseling session. I was gone during snack time.

Me being gone stresses my kids out!!!

Dolly spent the morning asking Mr. Amazing a lot of nonsensical questions. By the afternoon (even though I had been up and fed her lunch and cared for her in many ways), Dolly was very worried about supper. Multiple times she asked Mr. Amazing what we were going to have for supper. Because he honestly didn't know, that added to her stress. She made sure to let Mr. Amazing know how much she likes McDonald's. The child was honestly worried she wasn't going to get to eat.

The last time the two went over the top talking about me cooking dinner I finally broke down and asked them, "Were you hungry sometimes when you lived with Mommy C?" Dude seemed confused. (I honestly don't think he remembers.) But Dolly put her head down and mumbled out a yes. My cherubs don't have difficult "food issues". But the years of neglect they suffered in have shaped their little brains. They can't just let go of the uncertainty of the way things used to be.

Mr. Amazing sent me a text while I was out letting me know about Dolly's level of concern and her desire for McDonald's. I hadn't planned on taking the kids out to dinner. But given all that Dolly has been through in her five years of life, I decided that it would be therapeutic to indulge them. I told Mr. Amazing to let her know that I would be taking them out to McDonald's as soon as I got back home.

The relief she felt washed over her so visibly. Mr. Amazing reported that she immediately calmed down and went about the rest of her afternoon without issue. Granted, she had her socks and shoes on and was W.A.I.T.I.N.G. for me by the door come about 4:30PM. But knowing that she was going to eat at McDonald's was a good thing.

This foster parenting gig sure keeps you on your toes. And sometimes you have to do things just a bit differently than one might think is necessary. And for Dolly, McDonald's was therapeutic.

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