Friday, March 22, 2013

Some more realities of foster care and CPS

My cherubs are scheduled to go to Dallas today for a weekend visit. Minnie rarely gives me times for flights on her own. I practically have to beg for the information. When we were at a family visit with Great Grandma P this past Wednesday I asked Minnie what time they were flying out today. Minnie's answer was, "The flight is around 1:00 I think. I'll be there to get the kids around 11:00." That is all I got. She did go on to say that she had a placement scheduled for this morning at 8:00AM.

I went on the airline's website to see when the flights were between our airport and Dallas today. I sent Minnie a message this morning checking to see if the kids were flying out at 2:10 or later as there were no flights at 1:00. She did not respond.

I called her cell phone.
No answer.
Her voice mail box was full so I couldn't leave a message.
I called her office.
No answer.
I didn't leave a message as I knew she was out of the office today.

Eventually I called my agency. I wanted to cover my ass (because as a foster parent that is a HUGE part of the job) to see what would happen if I took the kids to day care and just left Minnie a note. (I also sent Minnie another text telling her I needed to know when she was coming and that taking the kids to day care was a possibility if she didn't arrive soon.) My agency sympathized with me but didn't give me "permission" per se. They acknowledged that the action could make Minnie very angry with me and there wouldn't be anything they would be able to do to help. They did attempt to contact Minnie for me as well.

They called her cell phone.
They called her office.
They sent an email to both Minnie and Minnie's supervisor.

Eventually Minnie sent me a text saying that she would be to my house at 3:00PM.

My agency called me back. They had spoken with Minnie as well. Minnie told them that she had specifically told me she would be to my home later.

This is a bold-faced lie.

And now I sit waiting even longer.

My kids are ALL freaked out. My forevers are triggered by these visits. Dude and Dolly are triggered by the visits. It is difficult for the cherubs to engage. There are tantrums. There is fussing. There are lots of annoying giggles from Dude and Dolly that show they are nervous and dysregulated.

And me, I'm HUGELY triggered! This is such a disregard of my schedule and my life. It is rude. It is unfair. And dammit....it pisses me off.

And there isn't a damn thing I can do about it.
Nothing.
Because I'm just the foster parent. It's my "job" to sit around and wait for caseworkers to do their thing. My own schedule and anything I might have planned has to take the back seat to anything the caseworker is doing. Expecting Minnie to send me a text just letting me know she'd be to my house at 3:00PM is over-the-top I guess. Silly me.

I hate foster care!

4 comments:

G said...

That's appalling.

My current foster child is excited to go to her visits and is asking every 10 minutes from the time she gets up that day if it's time to go yet. I can't imagine what it would do to her to have it delayed by hours like that.

Ugh.

Meg0422 said...

What a bitz.

Mitzy said...

Bad Minnie.

Foster Mom - R said...

I would make life painful for her and her supervisor. Disregulated kids waiting for the doorbell to ring is awful! Hang in there.

Could you get the supervisor to email you the dates- someone has to sign off on the flights?