Monday, May 20, 2013

Loving Both

Dolly: Mommy...(while shaking extremely long braids around in the air)...Mommy...I want to be an E*** (our last name). Mommy....Mommy....and I want my hair super short!

Me: Dolly...(getting down on my knees to look her in the eyes)...Dolly...I'm trying. I don't know when it's going to happen. I don't know if it's going to happen. But I want you to be an E*** too!! I'm working on it.

(Getting serious)...Dolly, if you become an E*** it will make your Mommy C very sad.

-- Dolly's eyes widened and she had to hold back some big emotion --

I'm sorry Dolly. But your Mommy C can't take care of you. The judge said. But Dolly, I can take care of you.

-- Dolly's eyes immediately brightened and she smiled --

I can take care of you Dolly. And it's OK for you to love both your Mommy C and me. You don't have to choose.

----

Dolly has been talking about her Mommy C*** a LOT lately. Mr. Amazing had to do some therapeutic parenting last night when Dude came downstairs after bedtime to announce that Dolly was crying in her pillow. Mr. Amazing is the one that introduced the idea of being able to love both her first family and us. It has been very comforting for her. In fact, tonight as soon as I said it, she was back to bouncing all over her bedroom and twirling those braids around in the air again.

Now...how do I go about telling her that the next time she sees Mommy C*** she'll also be meeting a new brother or sister.

This foster parenting stuff is NOT for the faint of heart!!!

4 comments:

MamaFoster said...

Oh boy. Are they going to have the kids do visits with mom again???

CherubMamma said...

Mom doesn't get out of jail until June 27 I believe. Court is July 1st. I'm quite confident they won't manufacture a visit prior to court. But I'm also pretty sure that the baby will be with Mom AT court. (At least I assume that. The baby is likely to be somewhere between 1-2 months old by then.) Typically - if Minnie is going to be typical -- the cherubs have to go over to the CPS office after the hearing to have a 1-2 hour visit with the Bio Family.

After that...I have NO IDEA if there will be visits or not. It will all depend on how the State proceeds. Though, even if they switch the permanency plan to TPR visits usually continue until the bitter end...right?

Mandy said...

In our case visits stopped even though we were headed for TPR. The CASA asked for visits to stop and the therapist sent a letter vouching that the visits were not good for the kids. There was a bit more drama than that, but that is the simplified version :)

CherubMamma said...

Oh Mandy - that is music to my ears! So many cases I read about talk of visits going all the way up to the bitter end. We don't have a CASA in this case. But we do have a therapist that favors us. If the case did get changed in July and a TPR hearing was set, they might suspend visits. That's what I'm going to pray for anyway!!