Saturday, May 11, 2013

More thoughts on this intervention

I've known what I'm about to say for awhile now. But I pretty much just forgot all about it. Then, as I was out driving around running some errands this afternoon, it all came back to me again.

If Grandma N finds out about this intervention, and as a result tells CPS she no longer wants the children, CPS will be forced to terminate rights.

I've never been in a position to talk to Grandma N.
1. She only comes to court. And even then, she hasn't made it to all the hearings.
2. She pretty much only speaks Spanish. I only speak English.
3. CPS makes sure that I'm never alone with Grandma.
4. Grandma is the most stoic person I've ever met. She barely even talks to the children when I'm around. At court on Monday she did nothing to interact with them on her own. (Likewise, the cherubs had nothing to do with her until Minnie made Dolly feel guilty by saying, "Don't you want to go sit with Grandma?")

The only person that communicates with Grandma is Minnie. Grandma doesn't have her own lawyer – she doesn't need one...yet. (If rights are terminated, Grandma would have to legally petition to adopt them as well. She'd probably need a lawyer to do that.) The only person telling Grandma anything is Minnie. And we all know that Minnie has NEVER offered up the option of letting us adopt the cherubs and Grandma N can stay grandma. I'm sure Grandma N does NOT know that we've said time and time again we'd have an open adoption and she'd probably end up with more contact than she has now providing the situation is safe and Grandma wants the contact.

But now we have a lawyer. Our lawyer can, and should, talk with Grandma at some point in time.

In my opinion, not only is Grandma N's home not a safe one, but I've NEVER gotten the feeling that Grandma N WANTS these children.
1. She doesn't acknowledge holidays or birthday in any way. Not even a phone call.
2. I've had workers throughout the past couple years tell me that Grandma N never calls CPS to check on the children.
3. Grandma does little to interact with the cherubs on her own when she does come down for a visit. I'm sure they talk and "play" some when they are in the visit room being watched by CPS. But outside of that, there's almost no interaction. She doesn't light up when she sees them. She doesn't come to them and say hi. Nothing. It's really strange!!
4. Grandma doesn't do anything to have visits with the cherubs on her own. As of now they are arranged and fully paid for by the State. The cherubs are flown to her and then flown back home.

The next time I talk with Ms. Colorado I'm going to ask about this particular angle. Between her and/or the lawyers for the children, someone needs to talk to Grandma and find out how badly she really does want the cherubs. The time to find out this information has come.

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