Saturday, May 4, 2013

Things I worry about

I worry sometimes about how Dude & Dolly's time in our home will be remembered. Will they remember love and fun and family?

Or will they have memories that are less than stellar? What do they think of the tantrums that TT and Bart throw? How are they processing out differences in rules? Do they realize that the reason some rules are different are simply because they are the youngest in the house and NOT because they are foster kids?

We have toys in almost every area of the house. Dude & Dolly have a few small manipulatives down in the living room. They pull out their Legos and/or Polly Pockets when they want to be close to the rest of the family but they don't want to just sit there while we talk or do "big people" things (ie: more grown up TV shows, video games, etc.)

Dude & Dolly are supposed to keep their toys in their room. They have a LOT of toys that they get to call their very own. They can be played with in any part of the house. But when things get picked up, they are supposed to go back in their room.

We also have a huge play room with TONS of toys. These are communal toys. Many of them used to be Herman's and were passed down to TT and Bart. Dude and Dolly are free to play with all of them. Anything special to TT and Bart needs to be kept in their room. (As a rule, the children are not allowed in each other's rooms.) But TT and Bart's room is pretty small. They don't have much space to store special toys. They end up sharing almost everything they own.

That can be hard for TT and Bart.

So this week, when Herman allowed TT and Bart to take ownership of an older toy of his, I had to get creative. The toy is a set of miniature Hot Wheels and individual tracks that all hook together into one giant landscape. Where would we put it? Should I let Dude and Dolly play with it too?

I mean...Dude and Dolly would be capable of playing with it. But really, it's not necessary for them to have access to it. They have cars and tracks of their own. Plus, these are miniature...just the right size to fit in pockets and disappear. And since TT and Bart already share almost everything, I decided to restrict Dude and Dolly's access.

But still...where would the toy fit?!

I ended up letting TT and Bart put the track together in the end of our living room. There's a small nook next to the front window that is easy enough to tell Dude and Dolly they have to stay out of.

But this is what my living room has looked like for the past few days.

Will they remember the love and the fun and the family?

Or if Dude and Dolly leave me next week will they remember THIS?


Sharon Doolittle said...

They will remember the love. They will remember trips to Sea World. They will remember swinging in the back yard. They will remember laughing and dancing in the dining room. Yes, they might remember that, but they will remember the good too!

G said...

My guess is that they will remember this. But they will remember it as "watching the big boys play with that cool car set" not as being excluded which I think is your fear.