Thursday, July 18, 2013

We saw Miss Mary

The cherubs had a therapy session with Miss Mary again last night. We're going to try and meet weekly until court in September.

Miss Mary has assured me that if the State wants a direct opinion, she'll give them one. She will tell them that the cherubs repeatedly tell her they want to stay with us. They repeatedly tell her they do not want to go to Dallas. She will tell the courts that she agrees with the cherubs and we are the best option for them for permanency.

I pray she will word things more strongly and in a way that is favorable to the courts.

Miss Mary also agrees to talk to Grandma N in Dallas if that's what the State wants her to do. She kind of threw her hands up in the air though and muttered to me, "What exactly am I supposed to say to her?!" I indicated that I didn't think anyone had ever asked Grandma if she really WANTS the children. Miss Mary said she could ask. I also said that I doubted anyone had told Grandma WE WANT the children. Miss Mary said she could discuss that with Grandma as well.

I'm actually hoping that Miss Mary does talk to Grandma. It's been two years and I've never heard Grandma say more than two words. I'd love to know how she really feels about this whole mess.

I really do like Miss Mary. The System ticks her off as much as it does me!!


La Mama Loca said...

These are DEFINITELY questions that should be raised!! Hope Miss Mary is a big game changer in the next few weeks!!

kate said...

Go, Mary! May the force be with her. ;>

MamaFoster said...

Oh how I hope she makes this a priority!

Annie said...

I'm glad she sounds sensible and all....but she doesn't sound all that - what? Bright? Energetic? Incisive? Why couldn't she figure out what to ask Grandma? Just asking her what her goals and hopes are for the children might offer insights...and why would she think it odd for her to talk to her?

And WHY isn't she clever enough to write reports that, without seeming to be highly biased, make it clear what is in the best interests of the children. If she is not communicating that, what is the point of any communication from her at all?

Hope I'm not being harsh...but I can't help but wonder.

CherubMamma said...

I'll try to describe Miss Mary just a bit better. She is sensible, bright, energetic, and so many other good things. Honestly, I think from the very first time she met with us she was just plain ticked off at the State. However, I believe she wants to continue working with the State (with other kids) so she has to dance carefully. This is her job after all and I'm sure she'd like to continue to work with foster kids.

The very first time we saw her and I gave Miss Mary a run-down of our story, she looked at me and said, "This seems so black and white. Where is the grey?"

But Minnie didn't want black and white per se. Minnie told Miss Mary her role was to prepare the cherubs to go to Dallas.

I don't really think that Miss Mary finds it odd to talk to Grandma. But I'm pretty sure she knows as well as I do, a phone call or two is going to be so superficial that there really is no point. Miss Mary isn't going to get to see Grandma interacting (or rather...NOT interacting) with the cherubs. She's never going to be able to compare apples to apples.

Miss Mary told me before our last court hearing that she was going to write a generic report. And that's exactly what she did. Because Minnie had told her that her role was to prepare the cherubs to leave, Miss Mary had to function somewhat within that role. Honestly, her report did say what was in the best interests of the children. She said they are bonded to me. She said the children want to stay with us. She said the children deserve permanency in a safe environment. She really wanted the judge to make the final decision though -- not her. After all, she's a therapist...not a judge.

I hope she does call Grandma though. I hope we get to see Miss Mary this week coming directly off a visit in Dallas too. Miss Mary holds a lot of power in this case and I know that she wants the kids to stay with us. We all just have to "play nice" with the State. It's just a matter of waiting. So much of foster care is waiting.

It sucks.