Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Things I've learned

The cherubs spent most of the weekend at a relative's house because Grandma had to work.
-- Great that she has a job.
-- Has this relative been "checked out"?! (I highly doubt it!)


The cherubs had to go to therapy with Minnie immediately prior to the visit in Dallas. I tried to find out what happened without prying too much. Dolly said that Minnie waited out in the waiting room and didn't go in to therapy with them. I breathed a sigh of relief.

Imagine the gut punch I felt when Dolly shared just minutes ago that they made a video with Minnie at therapy. On said video Dolly told Minnie that she wants to go live in Dallas.

Immediately after telling me this (because SHE brought up everything) Dolly said, "I told them I want to stay with you."

I questioned Dolly, "What did you REALLY say? This is important Dolly. I need to know."
I stayed as calm and as non-judgmental as humanly possible.

Dolly insisted that she told everyone she wants to stay with me.

Dude got in the car (we were picking him up from school). Dolly brought it up again all on her own. Dolly said, "I told them I want to stay with Mommy."

Dude piped up with disgust in his voice, "No you didn't. You said you want to go to Dallas".


I am trying as best as I can to handle this the right way. I did tell Dolly that I will love her even if she does go to Dallas, I will love her forever. I did tell Dolly that if she goes to Dallas she will never get to see me, or anyone else here, ever again. I did tell Dolly that if this happens it's not because of ME or anything I ever wanted for her.

Dolly is a pleaser. Dolly tries to tell everyone around her what she thinks they want to hear. In fact, she won't talk much if she can't figure out what she's "supposed" to say. Her therapist knows this about her and has documented Dolly's "confusion".

I'm still sick.

I think I'm going to go cry now.


Haygirl16 said...

Do not freak out. We had a similar situation, where the kids were asked where they wanted to live and to please the people they were with, they did not answer that they wanted to stay with me. It all still worked out for us.

Mitzy said...

I've heard and seen a lot of things in my last 2.5 years in foster care, but this takes the cake! How ridiculous is Minnie!?

Carrie said...

I'm sure you are sick over this :( God is going to do the best thing for these kiddos and for your family. He is.

Meg0422 said...

Turn about is fair play. You too could make a video. The conflicting stories here would've been informative enough.


Annie said...

Seems awful to me to put young children in this position. No one should ever make them think they have that kind of power over a situation that they have no ability to truly comprehend.