Monday, September 9, 2013

Things I learned about Dallas this time

So much...yet so little.

The cherubs went to Dallas on Friday afternoon. Of course as y'all know, I got exactly 24 hours notice that the visit was going to take place. Golly...I just loooovvee Minnie so gosh darn much. (insert sarcastic evil laugh)

Dude had a craptastic day at school on Friday. (Gee...I wonder how he feels about these visits.) He told his teacher he wasn't going to do his work. And for fun, he dropped his toothbrush in the urinal. (Dude loves to express his big feelings with his toothbrush I guess.)

Minnie was late picking up the cherubs. (Go figure. She is NEVER on time.) All was well though because when they came home from school on Friday, I plopped them all in front of the TV and let them rot their brains until Minnie got there. Waiting for Minnie to come sucks!

Minnie swooped in, they left and our weekend started.

The weekend wasn't too terrific. TT reacted strongly to Dude and Dolly leaving. Couple that with the fact that Mr. Amazing and I went on a date Friday night and TT felt super abandoned! We paid for it strongly most of the day Saturday.

The cherubs arrived back at the airport at 1:15PM on Sunday. Minnie had been gracious enough to give me flight numbers this time around so I could monitor their coming and going. However, in true foster-care fashion, my cherubs didn't get to my house until 3:15PM. The airport is only 45 minutes away. I do not know what happened to make it take so long for my cherubs to get home. And of course, Minnie shared nothing except the fact that the cherubs acted up in the airport for her. (Dude and Dolly don't hold back anymore. They know Minnie is spineless and they do more than keep her on her toes each month as they fly to and from Dallas!)

The cherubs spend their time away from me in their "trauma brains". They have a difficult enough time recalling details of normal days.
-- For example --
Dolly was telling me about school the other day. This is all I got, "We went to the gym. Everybody was my friend. And, did something."
A child that is almost six should be able to give more details than that but Dolly simply could not. I didn't interrupt her. I didn't press her for more details. She sat at the table next to me struggling to come up with more. Finally, she just shrugged her shoulders and said, "We did something," again. I've all but given up asking her about school. I don't want to make her feel bad because she can't tell me anything.

So, if they can't tell me much about "normal" days, you can imagine how well they do at recalling details of a weekend visit where they are shuffled about, plunked into an environment where no one speaks their primary language, deprived of any sense of rules or boundaries, kept up 'til all hours of the night and fed tons and tons of junk food.

Dolly did share with me that they didn't sleep at Grandma's one of the nights. Nope. Grandma picked them up at the airport and took them to a cousin's house where they stayed Friday and (most likely) much of Saturday. I have no idea if the individual(s) at this cousin's house have been through any kind of a background check. And I must say, my tax dollars are paying for each of these weekend adventures to the tune of roughly $2000 each visit. As a tax payer I'm more than a little bit pissed off that the purpose of the visits is for Grandma to get to know the children yet Grandma isn't even caring for the kids anymore. (At the last visit the cherubs spent most of the entire weekend at the cousin's house while Grandma worked.)

Also, Miss Mary was flown to Dallas this weekend to meet Grandma. This is most likely a good thing - but I don't know for sure. Miss Mary didn't tell me ahead of time she was going and you can bet your britches Minnie didn't tell me. was the cherubs that said they saw Miss Mary at Grandma's house. But that's all they could tell me. I don't know what manipulating Minnie tried to pull but I'm sure there was plenty. I'm not exactly worried, but I'm not exactly thrilled either.

I called Rainbow today and reported the fact that the children stayed at a different house during their visit. She literally said there's nothing she can do about it. My licensing agency is really only there to make sure I (emphasis on I) follow about a zillion-and-one rules. She'll run interference for me if I need her to. But if CPS wants to break rules, well...I'm on my own.

I also called Ms. Colorado today. She was in court but I did leave a detailed message with her secretary. I trust that Ms. Colorado got the message. I'm not sure if she'll call me about it to discuss anything prior to court. But she knows and can bring it up to the judge when we are there.

Court is in two weeks. I'm going to try and not freak out over the next 13 days. It won't be easy but I'm praying for and believing in a miracle.

God loves these cherubs more than I do. His will is great and I trust Him.

I'm certainly not relying on The System to protect my cherubs. Praise heaven that God has my back!


CandCFamily said...

So unreal!

Annie said...

Really....that's about all I can think of - absolutely unbelieveable.

We were cited by our agency, mind you, for bringing our adopted son home (when we'd told them before being licensed that we were going to Russia, etc. and our workers all knew we were going and approved the arrangements while we were gone....) But, no: "We didn't tell them someone new was in the home." OK.

And, we were cited for allowing our foster son to go to a lock-in at church, because they hadn't "approved" the church - a big Catholic Church and school.

Yet - right when you think they are rigorous, it's who cares about something really important.

Fostercarejourney said...

Your family is in my prayers