Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Court...again - UPDATE

I'm so sorry for not updating sooner. And no, I'm not at home in the midst of a wonderfully happy celebration.

Court happened pretty much exactly as I thought it would this time.
  • Phone calls will be on Wednesdays at 7:00PM and Saturdays at 10:00AM.
    No exceptions and they will be on time.
  • The State has until 10/28 to produce notes from a worker that "supposedly" was put into place in Dallas three days after the children arrived there.
  • The State has until 10/28 to have family/play therapy in place in Dallas.
  • The State has until 10/28 to mail the rest of the children's belongings.
It is very, very unlikely that the cherubs will have a legal need to return to my care. The situation in Dallas is one of subtle neglect - nothing that CPS will ever catch. There of course is the danger that they could get mixed up in the middle of drugs and/or gangs. If one of the more volatile relatives does something dangerous in front of the cherubs there would be cause. But I truly believe that Grandma N does TRY to keep the kids safe.

So right now I'm concentrating all of my prayer efforts over the therapist that is to be assigned to the family in Dallas. My prayer is that the therapist that is put into place in Dallas is a good one. This is no small request either. It has been my experience that therapists are given little background information by the State. And since Grandma N knows NOTHING of what has happened over the last 2+ years, she can't be counted on to help the cherubs process much. I want Dude and Dolly to HONESTLY get to process through all they've had to endure. Dude needs to know that his anger is OK but he can't hang on to it forever. Dolly needs to know that this is not her fault.

Minnie didn't say anything in court that totally made my skin crawl. Though, as always, she is full of lies. She literally told Ms. Colorado earlier this month that the reason phone calls didn't start with us after the removal was because she didn't have my phone number. Never mind that Minnie has been on the case more than a year. Never mind that Minnie has called me from her cell countless numbers of times. Never mind that Minnie will even text me when it suits her. No...she claimed she didn't know my number.

The judge made me uncomfortable when they were discussing family therapy during court. Apparently NOW it is important for the children to be in an unbiased place where they can express their wishes about where they'd like to stay. I'm disgusted by the fact that everyone seems to think it was biased before. The kids were in therapy before. The kids spoke to their agency worker without me present before. The kids even told their lawyers they wanted to stay with us. But it didn't matter then. Now?????

It's too late. I always made it clear to the cherubs if they moved to Dallas they'd never get to see us again. They don't know that they have permission to tell their new therapist that they don't want to live in Dallas. And no, I will be given no contact with the therapist at all. I am being treated like the bad guy here. I get nothing outside of two monitored phone calls each week.

I don't have high hopes. Ms. Colorado looked me square in the eyes and told me that everything we brought before the court this past Monday should have been brought to the judge's attention by the cherubs' lawyers. It is so obvious that the State-paid professionals in this case do not care. And since everything hinges on State-paid professionals, there is little I can do to change anything.

So I'm taking it all to God. Prayer is literally ALL I've got. Please continue to pray for the cherubs. Please pray with all your might that somehow a therapist will be put into place that can discern the truth. Please pray that this therapist is able to establish a level of trust. Please pray that the cherubs use their strong voices. I'm NOT praying for the cherubs to come back to me. I don't want that to be the goal of their therapy. No...all I want now is all I've wanted since the cherubs came to my home...permanency and healing. And even though that's not happening under my watch, it is still what they need.


Alisha said...

Praying for you, your fam and the cherubs. This is so very very wrong!

grkanga said...

Praying for all those damaged...
Hoping your permanent family heals and moves forward into joy with compassion and determination to improve lives.

tashapork said...

I have never heard of courts being so wrapped up in what young kids say they want as far as placement. I've heard of teens having a say, I've heard of bonding assessments being done, I've heard of judges being pro birth family despite serious problems, but never expectations for young kids to decide where they want to live. I pray for your peace of mind as well as healing for all of the kids and that the adults in charge get it together to help them.

CherylR said...

praying for you all!

fosterfull said...

Continuing to pray for ALL of you... And joining you in prayer for the new therapist to have wisdom and discernment when it comes to truly hearing Dude and Dolly and helping them to heal.

abrianna said...

Only thing I can figure is that Minnie or her supervisor have something(s) to hold over the judge and Miss Mary for them to suddenly turn like that.

So sorry for you all and yes I pray too that D and D get a good therapist that can work with them and see past the state nonsense...and that the state has nothing on them.

When you did not post right away, I figured it had gone badly.