Tuesday, October 1, 2013

The Day I Lost My Kids - Part 5

Mr. Amazing said that the cherubs burst into tears when he explained to them what was going to happen. By the time I got out to our car though they had calmed down. They, like me, seemed like shells of themselves. Neither child spoke. Both just sat in their car seats and stared straight ahead.

We started driving through town toward the line of restaurants on the way home. We asked the cherubs where they wanted to eat. They chose McDonald's. Their last meal with us was crap food from a crap restaurant. It was somewhat depressing. But we were going to give them what they want!

My phone rang while we were driving. It was Great Grandma P. Despite Minnie giving me orders via Rainbow that I'm not allowed to talk to GGP, I took the call. In fact, I had spoken with GGP the week before court to let her know what the schedule was. Honestly, I was surprised that she wasn't IN court.

When I told GGP what had happened she was audibly distressed! I believe her words were a repetitive, "Oh no oh no oh no!" I told GGP that we were on our way to McDonald's and that she should meet us there. Because dammit, if "family" is oh so important to CPS, my cherubs deserve to be able to see theirs and say goodbye!! GGP said she'd meet us over there. I stressed that she had to come quickly because we only had a matter of hours before they were flying out.

Great Grandma P looked so upset when she got to the McDonald's. She came in and hugged me, Mr. Amazing and the cherubs. GGP wanted to know what happened. I gave her the short version of the story. There wasn't much to tell. It was over and the kids were leaving.

We sat there and made small talk for about 10 minutes while the kids finished eating. She walked with us to the car and we hugged our goodbyes. It was difficult for everyone. Nobody wanted to say those goodbyes. I reminded GGP that I already had "adopted" HER and that we should stay in touch. She said several times that she's going to enlist the help of other family members of hers (in Dallas) to "keep an eye on things".


For those readers that don't know...

Great Grandma P is a maternal great-grandma. (Their maternal grandma - Bio Mom's mother - died many years ago from cancer.) GGP is 74 years old and knows that she is unable to care for these cherubs until they reach adulthood. From the beginning CPS did not predict that reunification with Bio Mom would ever "really" be possible. GGP is in relatively good health but she is very, very poor. From what I understand, she might have even been the person that contacted CPS about the plight of the little ones to begin with.

I know that Dude and Dolly spent a lot of time with GGP before coming to live with us. However, she wasn't exactly their primary care giver. Bio mom did not have her own living arrangements. She lived with friends, in hotels and stayed with grandma on and off. They bounced around a lot.

I simply adore Great Grandma P. It pains me to know that she might never see those cherubs again. GGP acted like a grandma the entire time they were in Care. She obviously loved them. She made sure she came to as many visits as CPS would allow. She called to check on the cherubs. She even used her meager funds to buy gifts for the cherubs. Shoot -- GGP bought Easter baskets for TT and Bart too this past Spring!!! If GGP could have cared for these cherubs I would have supported their reunification 100%!!

GGP does know where Grandma N in Dallas lives though. If she managed to get herself to Dallas, she could find them. When this case first started out, GGP even helped Grandma N get from the bus station to court by driving her. As the case progressed though they had no contact.

GGP said many times that she didn't want the cherubs to end up in Dallas. If they couldn't be with Bio Mom, GGP wanted the cherubs with ME. It is because of GGP's opinions that CPS ended up (very spitefully) limiting her contact with the cherubs.


It was an hour-long drive home after we left McDonald's. A very long, painful drive.


Skipping ahead...but finishing the story about Great Grandma P...

For reasons I do not know, Minnie's supervisor called GGP in a somewhat threatening way on the Tuesday after court. Apparently the cherubs told Minnie that they got to see Great Grandma P before they left.

Why this bothered anyone at CPS I will never understand.

And God bless GGP...but the sweet woman lied to cover for me. I told her it was completely unnecessary. But rather than tell CPS that we spoke on the phone and then met at McDonald's, GGP told Minnie's supervisor that she happened to be at the courthouse with a friend and saw the cherubs there.

I broke no court rules by having contact with GGP. This situation seems to have just fizzled out as I've heard nothing else. It just points one more finger at Minnie though. She is one angry, spiteful person.


grkanga said...

IS miss Minnie like this with ALL foster children and foster parents? Was she Always so ugly to you?

Anonymous said...

Have you considered contacting your state's foster care ombudsman about Minnie's behavior. It seems like you have things pretty well documented. I hate to think that she continues to have this kind of power in the lives of other families and children. :(

Still praying for you all daily.

Rich & Sig said...

Reading all this is bringing such pain to my heart, as it is so similiar to what we went through. Our foster daughters family wanted her with us, even her bio mom gave up her rights to us! But alas, we had a "Minnie" too.
I wish there was something I could say that would help you. I can only pray and keep you in my thoughts, and hope you find peace soon. I am so very sorry. Very very sorry.

CherubMamma said...

I've heard from other families that have dealt with Minnie. I have yet to see anyone smile when they hear her name!!

As for reporting Minnie's behavior...I'm waiting to talk to my lawyer. I want to file an official complaint. But I'm not going to do it if it might hurt what little chances we have left.