Texas has a rule that foster homes can have up to six children total - bio, adopted and foster combined. Any more than six, and the foster home has to be licensed as a "group home".
In my particular county, all group homes are required to have full in-home sprinkler systems. It is financially impossible for us to retro-fit our home with them! Therefore, we can only have six kids. They will NOT make an exception. Of this I am quite confident.
However, we have decided to remain "in" our intervention with Dude and Dolly's case. We're going to see things through the next court hearing in late January. From there, I'm sure the writing will be on the wall.
No, we haven't called since Thanksgiving.
And no, I didn't get Christmas presents to them.
Worse still, Dude's birthday present is sitting on my kitchen floor. (His birthday is tomorrow.)
I feel perfectly horrible about all of this! But there is only so much of me to go around and our world got rocked on December 17th. It just so happens that December 17th was the day I spent over $100 on fleece so I could make custom taggie blankets and pillows for both Dude and Dolly. I was going to make them on the 18th and mail them on the 19th. Instead, the fabric sits next to Dude's birthday present...mocking me.
I'm still going to make the blankets and pillows. I'm still going to mail Dude's birthday present. Even though everything will arrive late.
Hopefully I'll recover from the guilt I feel over all of this. I'm sure I'll never know how the kids feel about everything. But I want to try. I want to continue to make sure they know that I love them even when I can't see them. (A phrase we used A LOT when they lived with us - to prepare them for this exact situation.) I console myself with the fact that my mom got them cookies on time before Christmas. And "Granny cookies" are super special to Dude and Dolly! So at least there's been a little connection. Thanks Mom!!
Foster care doesn't make a lot of sense most of the time. We seriously felt called to intervene. Despite all we've been through, we believe we need to stay "in" through the next court hearing. And we all know that Ricky and Daisy are exactly where they are supposed to be now too.
When I get to heaven I'm not exactly sure I'm going to go straight to praise and worship. Right now I think I'd like to have a face to face sit down with the big guy and let Him know how I feel about all this crazy. His plans sure are complicated sometimes!