I seriously do not know what to say. My mind has been racing a million miles an hour since Tuesday and my home has been turned upside-down.
Eventually I'll write about my two new kids. For now though, I'm a 42 year old woman that just got a 7 month old baby and I'm just a wee bit tired.
But if there's any question as to whether or not we should be doing this...
Mr. Amazing is a biologist. His goal every day is to help undo Man's damage to this planet and to help restore what God has given us. We live in a rather dangerous part of the country. One would think that a biologist would be a safe job. However, due to our location, Mr. Amazing has been around more gunfire here than when he served in the Armed Forces and fought in the Gulf War. As he was listening to another gun battle on Tuesday afternoon, he had a good "talk" with God. In fact, he demanded to know what his (our) purpose was down here. He told God he needed to understand. Why are we here? What are we supposed to be doing? (With Dude and Dolly gone it's been difficult on so many levels.)
Less than 45 minutes after Mr. Amazing pleaded for an immediate answer to his prayer, I got the call for Ricky. About an hour after that phone call, another person in my agency called me about Daisy.
Our purpose is very clear.
God is so good!
As upside-down as our house is right now, we all have a peace about things that transcends mortal understanding. He is revealing Himself to us and we know we made the right decision to bring these two kids into our Crazy House.
Daisy needs a family that is going to advocate for her special needs. We are that family. I spent most of the day yesterday trying to track down records, make medical appointments and start putting her paperwork in order.
Ricky needs a family that is going to advocate for his best interests. Take every positive adjective you can think of and you've got my Ricky. He's smart, mature, responsible, respectful, strong, and oh so much more. He's also confused, devastated, and wounded by the recent decisions of CPS in his life. If we had said "no", he was going to be placed out of our area -- miles away from his friends, his school and the dive team he's a member of. There wasn't a single other foster family willing to take a teen boy the week before Christmas. With us, he's able to stay in the same high school. If he had been moved elsewhere, it's likely he would have not survived this tragedy still using those same positive adjectives above to describe him. With us, he has hope. (His words - not mine.)
God is so good!
I thank you all for your prayers. Please keep them coming. This is a pretty huge adjustment. My schedule is packed again. Daisy alone is going to keep me hopping with all her medical appointments.
And eventually I'm going to grieve Dude and Dolly all over again. We're technically still in their case. And in some small way, I feel like I'm betraying them by fostering again. I know I'm not. But I still hurt quite deeply.
Never in a million years did I honestly believe that we'd foster in Texas again. But God kept our home open for a reason. Maybe, just maybe, that's why the judge said the things he did. Because if we had lost all hope on Dude and Dolly and had closed our home, we wouldn't have gotten the calls for Daisy and Ricky. And right now, Daisy and Ricky are exactly where they need to be.
I hope all this makes more sense on the other side of heaven. I still question God and why He called us to THIS ministry. It's not easy! But it is good.