I had to take Daisy to two separate medical appointments today. The first was simply to our pediatrician. It's not time for any "special" check-up, but I needed to establish a relationship with the doctor and get some therapy paperwork signed so it can get sent off to Medicaid for approval.
The appointment went well. It's very hard for me to watch the expressions on the people at the office though. I know they see a lot, but it isn't every day that an abused or severely neglected child comes through their doors. Often, they don't know how to respond. For example, I don't think the nurse that took vitals and filled a ton of stuff in the computer when we got there really understands what Global Developmental Delay is!! Despite me explaining Daisy's injuries and what she's capable of doing, this nurse insisted on asking every single question exactly as it was written on the form in her computer.
No, I don't know if Daisy has abnormal thoughts.She meant no harm. But she kept asking question after question that didn't apply. And when I would give her an honest answer, she would look at me with this puzzled expression like she didn't now how to put the answer in the computer. Yes, Daisy is eight months old. But no, Daisy can't do the things eight month old babies can do.
No, Daisy doesn't eat dirt.
Shall I remind you that Daisy is practically immobile due to global developmental delay?
The doctor we saw was great. But again, I had to tell Daisy's story. Thankfully she didn't react in ignorance or horror.
This afternoon I had to take Daisy to the hospital for a transfontenelle ultrasound of her head. Because she's eight months old her soft spots have almost closed. It was very difficult to get good images. The technician even brought in someone else so they could try as well.
Again, I had to tell Daisy's story. It's not like I say everything! But the diagnosis "Shaken Baby Syndrome" is all I have to say and it's a bombshell! Both men tried to contain their emotions, but they each had these looks of horror on their faces. It's hard to deal with.
I cannot live in that place of horror. I have to move past it and let it become part of Daisy's story - but not a part of daily life. Every time I have to tell Daisy's story to someone new though, I am flung back to that difficult place. My words explain what happened to her, the injuries, the horror - and it hurts!!
So foster parent friends - do take care of yourself. Hopefully this post can help you understand your own emotions a little bit better. Taking care of these innocent children is no easy task. It's so much more than simply caring for them. We bear the weight of their stories too.
I've got basketball practice with Bart tonight. I'm going to sit in a corner alone and fry my brain on stupid FB games on my phone. I'll recover tomorrow - no appointments. Then hopefully I'll get enough sleep to be able to hang on for the rest of the appointments I've got the rest of the week.
Thanks to everyone that pushed me to sign up with Medicaid for transportation reimbursement. After I get all the paperwork filled out I will qualify for over $200 reimbursement since Daisy came. That will definitely help the bottom line!