Thursday, March 20, 2014

Diagram of a hospital visit #1

Daisy got sick on March 1st. She missed both of her visits with Bio Mom that were scheduled March 5 & 6. Daisy was then admitted to the hospital on March 7.

On Saturday, March 8, Mr. CW told me that Daisy was probably going to have a supervised visit with Bio Mom in the hospital. But then, about an hour before the time he told me to expect them, he sent me a text telling me the visit was called off.

Foster care is nothing if not a roller coaster.

It seems that Bio Mom was going several hours north to pick up her two other kids (that live with their dad) so she could see them for spring break. I honestly couldn't figure out why she couldn't do both. wasn't for me to figure out.

On Tuesday, March 11, Mr. CW told me again that a visit had been coordinated. I let the nurses all know that they could buzz Bio Mom in when she got there because she was going to have CPS with her. I could tell the nurses were uncomfortable though. Having a shaken baby puts everyone in a different mood. And then knowing that baby is going to have to have contact with a person being held responsible for the injury? Ugh!

Bio Mom and Mr. CW walked into the room. I handed Daisy over to Bio Mom. For about 45 seconds Daisy was fine. She smiled for her mom and cooed a little.

But then she started crying.

I discussed some of Daisy's medical issues with Bio Mom and Mr. CW. I then looked at Mr. CW and asked if he wanted me to leave. Mind you - Daisy was still crying. He said to give them a few minutes. On my way out the door I told him to text me if Daisy kept crying.

I walked out of the room and burst into tears myself. It was horrible. Nurses stared at me. I did not know what to do. Inside that hospital room was a screaming baby that wanted ME and I couldn't do a thing about it! I walked down the hall a short way and found an empty room I could hide in. I stood in the room and just cried.

Two minutes later I got a text from Mr. CW. He said Daisy was still crying and he was going to give it two more minutes.

Two minutes later he told me to come back into the room.

I know my role. I knew better than to walk into the room and swoop that baby up in to my arms. No, I walked into the room and made a bit of small talk and just waited. Daisy kept crying.

I don't remember exactly how I did it. It wasn't too weird. I mean...the visit in and of itself was weird enough. Me taking Daisy away from her mom didn't make it any weirder.

Daisy stopped crying immediately!!

After a few minutes I handed Daisy back to her mom.
Daisy started fussing almost immediately.

I looked at Mr. CW and Bio Mom and told them I was going to run down to the vending machine to get a Diet Coke.

Less than five minutes later I rounded into the hallway and started toward our hospital room. I could hear Daisy screaming. I walked into the room and put my Diet Coke on the shelf. Again, after a bit, I took Daisy.

She stopped crying immediately.

(deep breath)

After a few minutes, I handed Daisy back to her mom.
Again...Daisy cried.

Even Mr. CW was uncomfortable now. We kept making looks at each other. It was heartbreaking to watch Daisy be so upset. I knew I couldn't just keep taking her. We had to watch Bio Mom to see how she would handle it. Mr. CW even told Bio Mom to stand up like I did to calm Daisy down. (It didn't work.) Daisy just cried and cried while in her mom's arms.

With a visible sign of defeat, Bio Mom just handed Daisy over to me.
Again, Daisy stopped crying immediately.

I felt bad for Bio Mom. But I honestly didn't know what to do. Neither did Mr. CW. So, I sat there and held Daisy while Mom talked to her and tried to engage her in baby babble. We discussed some of Daisy's needs. But for the most part, I just held the baby for Mom so the baby wouldn't cry.

Mom got out her phone. She started up a video of Miss Daisy from before the "accident". The video was of Daisy and her bio dad.

Daisy did not respond at all. Me...I almost got sick. I know I'm supposed to have compassion and forgive. But this really seemed over the top to me.

When the video finished, Bio Mom looked up at Mr. CW and said, "Nobody knows him like I do."


Phoenix said...

That last line... Wow

Rhonda said...

Digusting that Bio Mom defends the monster that hurt Daisy. You deserve a metal for what you endured during that visit.

aka. Mimi said...

Oh my word.

Susan said...


Annie said...

Well, for heavens sake! All she needs is a six-week parenting class! Everything will be right as rain, then!