Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Family Group Conference

I realize my posts are all over the place right now. I've got more to write about the hospital stay, family visits and court for Ricky.

But right now I need prayers.

(I know. I'm so damn needy. Always asking for prayers.)

I JUST got notice (literally...15 minutes ago) that I have to bring Daisy to a Family Group Conference meeting at CPS on Friday at 3:00PM. It's not an optional event. I have to come and I have to bring the baby.

Both bio parents are to be in attendance as well.

AND I HAVE TO BRING THE BABY!

It's not like the baby can tell the committee about her experiences in foster care. It's not like she can weigh in on her goals or tell anyone what she wants.

And BOTH bio parents are going to be there.

----

My emotional tank isn't full enough for this kind of contact. I'm still trying to recover from eight days in the hospital and two brain surgeries.

Please pray for us.

CPS assures me that I will get to hold the baby and care for her during the entire meeting. I'm not sure how much I trust that. I've had to bring children before and when I did, those children were always with the parents at the meeting.

I honestly do not want to have to talk to the bio dad at all.

God help me if I have to talk to that man while I hold the baby in my arms that he nearly killed.

11 comments:

Annie said...

Oh, heavens....reading your posts is so often a PTSD trigger for me.

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh. I can't even imagine. Prayers x 100000

tashapork said...

Prayers that this torcherous set up results in something beneficial for Daisy even though my gut says it will only cross an item off of the list.

Foster Mom - R said...

Is Bio Mom still with Bio Dad? Couldn't the fact that the poor thing just had brain surgery be an extenuating circumstance that would allow her to stay home.

You can do this. You are strong. That's why you were chosen to be their Mama right now. Foster care sucks....

Rhonda said...

I sincerely hope that Bio Dad is tortured by the sight of the precious baby whose life he changed forever. My husband's cousin damaged her baby years ago and he can not see or hear. He and his sister were adopted by a wonderful couple in our area. The freak was allowed to go on with her life and had more children. I do not understand how a person lives with themselves after such a horrendous act. Bless you for loving Miss Daisy and taking such good care of her.

Kathy M said...

So many things I don't understand. Why would he even be allowed near her?? Why are the littlest the least protected? This makes absolutely no sense. Why isn't he in jail? Because it was his own baby he hurt, so it isn't a big deal? I will never understand. Prayers to you and good luck facing these people. I will never understand, I am a teacher and so often I wonder why the children's needs never seem to come first...why are they the ones who have to constantly pay for the mistakes and cruelty of others.

Cherub Mamma said...

Answering comments from above ^^

• My own posts trigger PTSD for me too. I really question this calling sometimes. I tell people that God and I are going to have a serious talk about this when I get to heaven. :)

• Bio Mom was counseled by her lawyer to leave Bio Dad but I seriously doubt it happened. I've got a post about it coming - just haven't had time yet.

• Bio Dad isn't in jail because BIO MOM BAILED HIM OUT!!

• I wish brain surgery could excuse Daisy from this level of crazy. But it doesn't. In fact, when I drop her off at her visit today, if she cries for the entire two hours, there's not a single thing anyone will do about it other than "document" it. (And there's a good chance she'll cry most of the time.)

• Thank you all for your prayers. I'd really like to skip the rest of March and move on to April. This month as completely sucked!

75b10848-b039-11e3-aead-000bcdcb5194 said...

Does Daisy handle being worn? Could you wear her in a sling or front carrier for the meeting? I find that's a clear "hands off the baby" gesture to other people.

I am disgusted that she has to be at this meeting and I will definitely be praying, specifically that you will be able to hold her the whole time and that you will both be blessed with a whole lot of peace during the meeting.

kate said...

You have to take her to a visit today AND to another tomorrow when she's just had TWO BRAIN SURGERIES?!?!!

Nuts.

And, to let bio dad near her now is just unfathomable.

Praying.

G said...

Oh, I've had cases that required that. Yes, must bring the 3 year old to court. Where we will revisit the traumatic experience of watching her mother get arrested. Lovely.

I've always had to hand the child over to the bio parents when we got there, too, but my cases have all been reunification. Love the idea of "wearing" Daisy....although I would be sorely tempted to invent a fever or some reason it wasn't possible to bring her at all!

Praying hard for you!

grkanga said...

Since you are required to be there are you allowed to speak? Will ANYONE there care what you say? Can you tell the contact person that you are a grownup and being told to "wait until our grand reveal" is sick making for you and sadistic on their part? Probably not.
I am sorry. VERY VERY SORRY. And I expect this is because children do not vote, do not have lots of money and are not allowed to sue when reaching majority........ Although they used to be able to sue for failure of mandated reporters for not acting on the suspicion of abuse..... hmmm wonder if Dolly and Dude will have a case against Minnie.... Does anyone know?