Wednesday, March 26, 2014

One time...during a visit...

One time, during a supervised visit at the CPS office, Ricky announced that his art piece had qualified to be entered into an elite art show. Rebecca was there, with CPS's permission. She was happy for Ricky and congratulated him. She put her hand on his leg and gave it a pat.

One time, after a supervised visit, when Rebecca was saying goodbye to Ricky, she gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Ya know...like how a mom would do. Ya know...like how I do all the time.

For 14 years Ricky didn't get love and adoration like this. For 14 years Ricky got physically abused by his bio mom. The only time he got a pat of congratulations was when he sold drugs and brought home money for his mom to use.

But somehow in all of this, Rebecca is the bad guy. There must be something inappropriate in their relationship. A mother figure hugging and kissing her son?! Oh my stars!! How horrible! (insert sarcasm...lots of sarcasm)

And now the song has been officially sung.

Ricky had his monthly meeting with Emilia last night. I told him to be bold and to demand to know what happened in court.

He did. I'm so proud of him.

It's obvious CPS has NOTHING but these incredibly innocent observations to go off of. They've questioned members of Ricky's family that knew both of them before CPS got involved. They do not have anything to investigate Rebecca on.

But it's enough to keep Ricky in formal foster care until he turns 18.

6 comments:

abrianna said...

Aghast, speechless and furious!

And they wonder why more people won't get involved in fostercare...

Meg0422 said...

I wondered if it would be something like that. A grown woman volunteering to take care of a teenaged boy? Gasp! Do you know what could happen?!

Kathy M said...

As a teacher who consistently hugs her jh/hs students, male or female, I am not shocked by this, but so sad. When I first started teaching, we were told over and over in school not to have any contact with any child ever. That goes against my nature, but I also figured out very quickly that there a lot of children who are never hugged, never made to feel that they are worthy of love and kindness. If I didn't show it to them...how were they going to know that they were worthy? How were they going to think school was important? Ricky's story empowers me, while making me sad. I am so glad he has made good decisions and had the help of other adults, I'm so frustrated that people have to be like this...

Cherub Mamma said...

I was even trained as a foster parent to be careful of touch. I pretty much took that training and threw it out the window. There is NO WAY IN HELL I'm going to parent a child and not touch them. I figure, if I end up being investigated because I gave a child a hug...God will get me through.

grkanga said...

Re Daisy acting out post visits and hospitalization. Talk to caseworker and see if her crying during visits is documented for court and ask how to document for caseworker the change in Daisy's behavior. MAYBE court will take it into consideration in what is ordered re visitation ... MAYBE the agency/caseworker can help reduce the stress on Daisy if it is shown to be harmful to the baby.
Although general what I saw was that since the baby is pre verbal the system assumes the child is unable to communicate at all. Might be worth a shot..... or not.

Annie said...

Just so sad. Is someone just afraid for their job? I teach a class on Child Sexual Abuse and clearly, there are appropriate ways to touch and inappropriate ones. One mark of appropriate touch is that it is PUBLIC (hence, it could go down in their record); there is an appropriate CIRCUMSTANCE - i.e. - expression of pride in accomplishment, saying "goodbye". I'd be more concerned had she NOT touched him at all - wouldn't that look suspicious? I think with them there is no winning.