Sunday, March 16, 2014

Stupid things nurses said

The first night in the hospital tested me greatly. First and foremost - I was worried about my baby. She was sick and I wanted her well.

But there was something about the bedside manner of the nurses that kept me on edge. Thankfully things smoothed out quickly and this blog post will be a short one. But I figured I'd share with y'all some of the things that were said to me within our first 24 hours at the hospital.
"She's so pretty. Are her parents pretty?"
I honestly had no answer for that one.
"She's so fair. Which one of her parents is white?"
Again...I stumbled over an answer. I live in an area of the country that is 99% Hispanic. My white children are old enough that they don't get a ton of attention. But my blond haired child has been the subject of touches and questions about his hair that were unwanted. And total strangers do like to comment REGULARLY about both TT's and Bart's blue eyes. I suppose a very fair baby with a very Hispanic last name threw people for a loop. When we're out in public people just assume she's "mine". I even had one bold person directly ask me if I had an "oops" baby.

But the one that cut me to the core was this...
Nurse: "So...you have had others? Or is this your first one?"
Me: "Yes, we've had other foster kids."
Nurse: "Where did your others go?"
Me: "My last kids went to a relative."
Nurse: "How long did you have them?"
Me: "27 months."
Nurse: "Oh. So you don't get attached?!"
(said like a statement of fact...not a question)
All I could do was stammer, "Of course I get attached."
I had nothing in my emotional tank for anything else.
She completely deflated me.

4 comments:

Hope L said...

I was hoping you would post about what the medical staff said that was inappropriate as I work in a hospital so I could learn what not to say.

Sadly, I am appalled at people's unbelievable intrusive and insensitive comments.

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure if it'll make you feel better (or worse) but I have the same stupid conversation regarding my biokids... I'm white (green eyes, red hair), hubby is Chinese, the girlies look exactly like him and nothing like me. The girlies are twins, nearly three and people regularly refuse to believe me when I tell them they're not adopted... which is anytime my husband isn't within three feet of them.

It is extra super-duper fun when we visit my inlaws in Beijing -- folks feel the need to make snarky comments (if hubby or inlaws aren't within three feet of the girlies), assuming I don't understand their snark. I take waaaaaay more pleasure than I probably should by politely telling them to knock it off in Mandarin. (I'm a diplomatic brat and spent most of my childhood here. Westerners who speak unaccented Mandarin are rarer than you'd think).

G said...

Oh, I'm so sorry the nurses were so mind-blowing insensitive. When N was in and out of the hospital with his own brain surgeries, we had several terrific nurses and a few OK ones, but nobody like that!

tashapork said...
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