Friday, April 11, 2014

it is not IF...it is WHEN!!

Daisy has eczema. I've got several pieces of paperwork from different doctors saying "eczema" on them. She breaks out on her forehead. She also gets pretty bad cradle cap. I use coconut oil sometimes. I've found a natural tea tree oil shampoo that really helps her scalp. And I put Aquaphor on any scratches that she makes. I keep her fingernails as short as possible.

Daisy has a neuro disorder of some sort that causes her to flap her left hand, scratch her head with her left hand and shake her left leg. The first doctor I talked to about it said that it's possibly due to the brain damage. The doctor's example was: newborns have a lot of random body movements. Daisy was thrown back due to the brain damage to the developmental level of a newborn. Perhaps that's why she does it. Her neurologist says (without even looking at her or getting much of a description from me) that it is seizure. Another doctor told me it could possibly be a harmless sleep disorder.

On Wednesday of this week, Daisy had a bit of an eczema flare. She also has been rather fussy this week. This resulted in Daisy scratching her head in several places. Pair those scratches with the inflammation from the eczema, and her forehead looks pretty bad.
Bio Mom asked about it at the visit yesterday. I told her much of what I just wrote above. The deer in the headlight look when I said it could be seizures was another reminder of what level of denial Mom is in. I know she's been told over and over by me that seizures are "normal" for children that have suffered the level of brain damage Daisy has.

I asked Bio Mom if Daisy scratched herself a lot before the injury. She said yes. She said Daisy's nails are really sharp. I added the fact that Daisy has been like this since birth to my list of "symptoms" so I'd have the full picture the next time we speak with a doctor.

And last, I've been taking videos the past few days of how Daisy hits and scratches herself. It does NOT look like seizure to me so I wanted to SHOW the neurologist.

But this is my life now:
  1. At yesterday's visit, Bio Mom took a picture of Daisy's forehead.
  2. Bio Mom emailed said picture to her lawyer.
  3. Bio Mom's lawyer emailed the picture to Daisy's lawyer.
  4. Daisy's lawyer emailed the picture to CPS. 
  5. Mr. CW sent me a text asking me what I know about this.
  6. I explained ALL of the above to Mr. CW and sent him the videos I've taken.
  7. I scheduled a doctor appointment for Daisy to see her pediatrician this afternoon.
  8. All it is going to take is for Bio Mom or Bio Mom's lawyer to call the hotline and I WILL be under investigation again.
  9. Mr. CW told me to be prepared for that exact scenario.
It is not IF you're going to be investigated...it most certainly is WHEN. Document everything. Tell everyone everything. Never act like anything normal is really normal.

Because in foster care...nothing is normal!

13 comments:

Buzy Bee said...

All I can say is I'm praying and praying hard. In shock.

Our Journey said...

We just had a temp placement for two days and my licensing worker got all sorts of pictures! I'm not used to lily white skin that shows every single bump or bruise! Definitely document everything!

tashapork said...

Prayers. Did biomom tell you how she treated the eczema since she wasn't getting medical care for her? How did she look when her lawyer saw her yesterday?

Paige Lovelace said...

I am praying for you!

Cherub Mamma said...

Bio Mom did not confirm the eczema yesterday. She only said that Daisy has always scratched herself.

I've also got the "testimony" of both the first foster family and social workers at my agency that can confirm Daisy scratches herself.

No doctor has deemed anything necessary other than what I'm already doing for the eczema. I'm sure I'll end up with a steroid today though.

Daisy's forehead was red yesterday when we went to see her lawyer. Daisy's lawyer said NOTHING about it (and if I remember correctly, I did say something). So it wasn't bad enough that Daisy's lawyer was concerned.

I know this is going to blow over. Mr. CW said I have more than enough "proof" to back my side of things up.

It's just the horror of the possibility of another investigation looming over my head again. Every kid that we've taken down here that has stayed longer than 24 hours, has "given" me an investigation. I'm sick to my stomach. I'm so tired of being the bad guy and having to prove myself to everyone.

I seriously question why I keep on doing this sometimes.

Unknown said...

My son who was my foster son for 19 months hard horrible eczema. It got worse when we started baby food. He can not have lots mango, pineapple or oranges. He isn't fully allergic but it makes him itchy and he would scratch at his forehead. He is not a Shaken Baby but is a drug exposed infant. His eczema is 100% under control now that I know food triggers it. I know your state is way different but those marks are totally baby eczema made. I will be saying extra prayers.

Cherub Mamma said...

@Unknown...
I think it's strawberries on Daisy. I have a couple mixed fruits with strawberries in them and I THINK that's when it flairs more. Then it gets worse when she's stressed. I guess I'm going to have to make list of what I'm feeding her and monitor it closer.

Ugh! Bio Mom will get to play in that game too since she insists on feeding Daisy solid food no matter what time the visit is.

Karen said...

Since mom insists on feeding Daisy solids at visits, can you provide a list of "approved" foods? We did this with parents who would give multiple new foods per day. They were only allowed to give foods with ingredients on the list we provided.

Have you booked an appointment with the neurosurgeon? Has she had an EEG recently?

It just boggles my mind that Mom would possibly raise a stink about scratches in your home, when she wants to take Daisy home and is still in a relationship with the man who nearly killed her. My mom wonders if it's because she realizes what a strong advocate you are for Daisy, and that scares her (biomom).

I'm glad you met with the lawyer yesterday so she knows what kind of person you are, and she didn't raise a fuss to you about the scratches. And I'm glad you have Ricky in your home so that if anything happens, you have an older foster child that can "vouch" for you.

kate said...

My dd's eczema triggers are strawberries and tomatoes. She was adopted from Russia. (The funny thing is, many adopted-from-Russia kiddos have "allergic to red foods" on their medicals and people scoff. My dd didn't have that Rx…but she is!)

"Do not grow weary in doing good."

Cherub Mamma said...

Yes, Bio Mom will have to do something in regards to how and what she feeds Daisy. I'm going to wait until after the doctor appointment today. I'm sure we'll end up with a "plan" where I go back to feeding Daisy only one food a day so I can figure out what foods trigger the eczema.

We see the neurosurgeon on Tuesday next week. He's just going to look at the incisions though.

Daisy had an EEG back in January. It was a very short one and didn't show seizure activity (according to the tech). We couldn't go to her follow up for the EEG though because that fell on one of the days when Daisy was so incredibly sick back in March. The soonest they could reschedule that appointment for was the first week of May.

I have NO IDEA why Mom sent a picture to her lawyer. I don't know what she was hoping to accomplish. I'll probably never know. But it is safe to say that it's going to be hard for me to play nice at all now. It's unlikely that I will talk to her about anything if this is how she's going to handle things. EVERYTHING can go 100% through CPS. (Don't freak out on me. I'm sure I'll calm down and everything will be back to normal by Monday when I see Bio Mom next. LOL)

And yes, I'm really, really glad I met Daisy's lawyer yesterday too. She got to see Daisy in person right in the middle of this episode of crazy. I'm confident this will be over soon. But wow...what a punch in the gut!

Mitzy said...

You're one tough Mamma. I'd be down for the count by now. Will send a few prayers your way.

Cherub Mamma said...

I'll be honest Mitzy - if we didn't have Ricky, I'd probably be saying I'm DONE. Find this baby a new advocate and let me go back to just "my" kids. But I made a commitment to Ricky and I'm not going to blow that one.

As for me, I feel like I got kicked in the stomach.

Doesn't help that my hubby had a scope procedure done this morning and neither of us slept last night. We had to be up and at the hospital by 6:15 this morning. I'm tired and sucker punched.

yvette said...

Mom is trying to justify her now disabled daughter scratches on someone who is keeping her safe. Like is she that stupid? Your daughter is not and will no longer be a healthy baby who could of had a normal life because of what she and that animal did to her. She is just as much responsible for Daisy injuries as he is. What she figured, my daughter is getting treated horrible in care, I need her home? Really? Ugh, sick to my stomach, I get to witness you and the family take care of baby, she is happy, growing, and to be honest may have a better life in care then with those monsters. Maybe I should stop now, maybe I shouldn't let that woman get the best of me, or maybe I should just be damn happy I don't know who they are. Sick!