- I never want to treat my foster kids differently from my forever kids!
- Birthday parties for my forever kids typically just involve family. I've thrown bigger parties before. When Herman turned one I invited a bunch of people that I worked with, some friends and all my family. Our tiny little house was jam packed. When TT turned one it coincided with his adoption as well. We literally invited our entire church and had a pot-luck one Sunday after service. But when Bart turned one there was much less fanfare. As my cherubs get older they have requested bigger parties. But I'm not the "bouncy-house, gift bags, tons of kids I don't know" party throwing kind of a mom.
- In general birthdays involve the child getting to pick out their favorite food for dinner. I bake and decorate a cake. And they open presents from family members. We've also had other small traditions like the child getting their own bottle of flavored milk from the store. (Strange - but my kids loved that tradition and it stuck around for several years.)
- I always want to meet my foster kids where they are at developmentally.
- Daisy doesn't have a favorite food. She can't eat cake. And my entire extended family lives over 1200 miles away. I've got a few friends in my neighborhood. And I suppose I could invite her therapists and social workers. But it would be over-stimulating and probably even scary to Daisy to have a bunch of people over to the house.
- Also, Daisy needs nothing right now. Every time I think of a toy or piece of equipment that might help with her development, I buy it right away. I honestly struggled giving my sister birthday present ideas yesterday when she asked me.
- And for what it's worth, Daisy couldn't open presents. She wouldn't even get anything out of hand-over-hand pulling on bows and ripping off paper. Once we got in to the present, Daisy couldn't see it anyway so the excitement would be lost on her entirely.
I want everyone to know that I love and adore Daisy and that she is special to our family. But I don't have to throw a party for a bunch of other people to prove that. If I throw a party, it would simply be to have pictures so I could prove I threw a party. It wouldn't mean much to Daisy.
I also realize that her own biological family can acknowledge her birthday and take pictures if remembering the event that way is important to them. Bio Mom is high functioning. She can throw a party for Daisy during a visit if she feels it's necessary to have those kinds of pictures.
I don't mean to sound callous. I do want to celebrate Daisy's life!! But I think it's going to look a lot like us singing to Daisy "Happy Birthday" all day long. I'll be sure to take pictures of her with the presents she will be receiving. And that will be about it.
If Daisy is still in my life when she's older, and if she's more aware of thing things going on around her, future parties and celebrations will look different. But for now, I think I'm going to meet Daisy where SHE is at.