I know that God loves me.
And somehow, I have to know and accept that God loves Daisy's bio mom
just as much as he loves me.
So I've been praying for Him to show me this and help me love her too.
It hasn't been easy.
But today, at the visit drop-off, something changed.
OK...I really need to give her a blog name...At drop-off, Kori was different!
I'm tired of calling her Bio Mom...Let's call her Kori.
Somehow the topic got on Daisy's flappy hand. Kori said, "Ya know, when it was just the two hour visits most of the time I thought she was just excited or happy. But after having her all day yesterday, well, I can tell it's not normal."
No Cheshire Cat grin. No absent look in her eyes. She said it and she meant it.
The visit today was short due to a scheduling conflict with the supervising agency. I came back after two hours to pick Daisy up.
The conversation continued.
We talked a LOT about Daisy. About her limitations. About what kind of medical care she needs. About her progress. But really, we talked most about the injury.
Kori listened. She asked good questions. She made eye contact. She got emotional appropriately. She didn't tune out.
Kori has done EVERYTHING the State has asked of her and then some. She has taken classes they didn't tell her to take. She comes to all the visits. She's even got an appointment scheduled with Daisy's lawyer later on this week. Kori wants her daughter home.
And for the first time today, I wanted it for her too.
I told Kori I want to stay a resource in her life should Daisy go back home to her. I didn't get ahead of myself and give her my phone number or address or anything. But I reached out an olive branch.
I have hope. Maybe Daisy will be OK.
Toward the end of the conversation Kori said, "I just want to have access to all the doctors. I want to know if what Bio Dad says happened could have caused all this. He's told the story tons of times and it's the same every time." She fell short of saying that she still completely believes him. She stopped herself and said, "Oh...I talk too much."
I looked at Kori and didn't hold back. I said, "The doctors will tell you that the damage inside Daisy's brain is not compatible with the story Bio Dad gives. In fact, the doctors will tell you that the shaking most likely happened more than one time."
We continued to converse. Kori didn't shut down. I still have hope.
But she still believes Bio Dad and his story...and that scares me.