Tuesday, June 24, 2014

What happened in court

Court was to be at 10:30am. I think Daisy's case got called just a little before 11:00am. I had to wait outside with Bio Mom (Kori). Bio Dad even came by to coo at Daisy and talk to Bio Mom.

The first thing the judge did was change the trial date to August 19. It is NOT a TPR trial. I don't really know how to explain everything. Even though every single hearing sounds exactly the same to me, they have different names and supposedly different agendas at the different hearings. Today was a pre-trial. On August 19 everyone has to be ready to go to trial on the case. If Daisy remains in Care she has a dismissal date of November 11, 2014. When The System works correctly, cherubs have permanency by their dismissal date.

Then the judge went around the room and asked for updates from everyone.
  1. Kori's lawyer asked for a monitored placement. She wanted Daisy to go home but still have CPS up in Kori's business making random surprise visits and such.
  2. Daisy's lawyer was extremely conservative and wanted no part of a monitored placement. She wants visits to continue and was OK with extending them to weekend overnights. She did go in to great detail about her concerns with Kori's denial. She and I spoke prior to the case being called and she used a lot of what I told her when she spoke to the judge. She stated that she's incredibly concerned that Kori would have anything to do with Bio Dad at all. She then expressed how disgusted (that's NOT the word she used but it was the tone) she was when she saw Kori letting Bio Dad coo all over Daisy while we waited for the case to be called.
  3. CPS then stated that they were willing to add overnight weekend visits for Kori and Daisy.
The judge listened well and then moved on to more general questions. We discussed Daisy's health. I explained what happened at the hospital the last time in detail for everyone. Then the judge called all the decision makers up to his bench and they went off the record.

Weekend visits have been approved. Daisy will leave my care on Saturday at 7:00pm and stay with her mom until Monday at 6:00pm. The extended visits on Thursdays (from 10:00am to 4:00pm) will continue as well. Daisy is to have no contact with Bio Dad at all!

And that was that.

Unless Kori totally screws up and lets Bio Dad come over, Daisy will go home in August.

The State still has a primary goal of "relative conservatorship". But when the judge asked if there were any relatives, and the State said NO, he told CPS, "Then you're going to have to change your goal because this isn't working." The judge then went on to say, "You need to be up front with Bio Mom if you're going to remove her child permanently. Otherwise, you need a new goal."

The State doesn't have grounds to terminate rights on Kori. She was not there when her daughter was injured and she has done absolutely everything the State has asked of her.

She's still in incredible denial. She does not believe that Bio Dad did to Daisy what the doctors say was done. She offers up no other explanation though. And we all know that Bio Dad did it because of what he HAS said.

Hopefully Bio Dad will be indicted before the trial in August. That really needs to happen in order to keep Daisy safe. Maybe by then Kori will come to better terms with everything and will begin picking up the pieces and moving on - AWAY from Bio Dad.

I just have to pray that what appears to possibly be a pattern with Kori is broken very soon. She has a lot of emotional healing to do and she has to face this change alone. I do believe that she loves her daughter very, very much. I believe she is capable of meeting Daisy's medical needs. I'm not confident that she WILL meet them. She looks at modern medicine with a very distrusting eye. But she is capable. And maybe, just maybe, my influence will help her be OK with the level of modern medicine Daisy needs. I'm not somebody that runs to the doctor at the drop of a hat. Kori and I have been in agreement that Daisy doesn't need to be seen for the nasty cold that is keeping Daisy up at night coughing. Maybe we can bond over things like this and Kori will trust me more when I explain why Daisy needs to be on anti-seizure medication and that the baclofen for muscle spasms is really important.

Either way, I'm sure this case will be done on August 19. If not, it means that Daisy was once again put in harm's way and Kori really screwed up. I hope it doesn't come to that.

8 comments:

grkanga said...

very time I hear someone suggest a child be return to prove the bio parent will fail I think the speaker and suggestor and judge should be subjected to the same damage that happens to the child when the 'expected failure' occurs. Right down to burns and head injuries and broken bones. Yes, it makes me mad; bet it makes you mad too CMamma.
As Fmothers we PRAY our children will be safe when/if reunited. Clearly CMamma is doing everything she can to help Kori and to have a decent relationship with her. This is such an impressive effort.
I wish CMamma and her whole family much strength in the upcoming weeks, I fear she will need it. But I know her courage and willingness to speak her truth will be helpful to Daisy. I just hope it will be enough to keep this baby safe.
Thank you for caring for those in need.

grkanga said...

very time I hear someone suggest a child be return to prove the bio parent will fail I think the speaker and suggestor and judge should be subjected to the same damage that happens to the child when the 'expected failure' occurs. Right down to burns and head injuries and broken bones. Yes, it makes me mad; bet it makes you mad too CMamma.
As Fmothers we PRAY our children will be safe when/if reunited. Clearly CMamma is doing everything she can to help Kori and to have a decent relationship with her. This is such an impressive effort.
I wish CMamma and her whole family much strength in the upcoming weeks, I fear she will need it. But I know her courage and willingness to speak her truth will be helpful to Daisy. I just hope it will be enough to keep this baby safe.
Thank you for caring for those in need.

Annie said...

It is so hard to believe that the "long visits" can be good for a child that age. I wonder if they have done studies about it. Obviously kids do OK with daycare (or so we hope) but including overnights, and having such a long period between the hand offs. It just worries me. Seems disruptive for everyone, including Kori.

kate said...

Agreeing with Annie. How can so many changes back and forth be good for Daisy?

And, heartbroken to hear Kori is STILL in denial. I worry that even if bio dad goes to jail she'll find someone just like him.

r. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cherub Mamma said...

@r.
You made a lot of good points on the comment it looks like you deleted. For what it's worth, I look forward to any comments from you. :)

Yes, Daisy's lawyer told me right before court that if Daisy goes home under "monitored placement" or "monitored return" (whatever it's supposed to be called) she will ensure that CPS stays involved for the full six months. I understand that extends the dismissal date.

Mr. CW had already told me that for him, it changes his home visit schedule from once a month to once a week.

And ONLY because it's Mr. CW do I trust that those visits will really happen and that they will be done in a manner where the worker honestly is trying to make sure Daisy is safe.

But the bottom line would be, Daisy's mom would have plenty of time unmonitored and it would only take one incident to kill Daisy.

In defense of Kori though, I don't believe at all that she will allow contact with Bio Dad if the court tells her it's not allowed. My biggest fear is that he won't be indicted before the case is dismissed. I also have concern that Kori would move on to another "wonderful guy" and repeat a pattern of poor male choices and put Daisy in harm's way again.

r. said...

It does suck. I guess one consolation is that Daisy's is the type of case that will lead a paper trail. I'd imagine that will all the therapies Daisy will be receiving, there will be lots of eyes on her and a long paper trail. No, that won't help if the next incident is the one that kills her, but at least it will keep the family from flying completely under the radar.

Cherub Mamma said...

Agreed @r.

However - once the case is dismissed they can't require Bio Mom to keep up with ANY of the therapies or even the appointments with the specialists. That would be a parenting preference she would be allowed to make. Daisy could get lost again for a very long time. Especially since Bio Mom wants to home school. No one could see that little girl again once CPS is done with the case. Lord only knows what could happen to her.

This case is such a mess. Because I honestly don't want the court ruling on things that "might" happen and no one can prove Kori did anything wrong. But something just doesn't sit right with me yet when it comes to full reunification. It makes me very nervous. I mean...Daisy almost died and that's still got to be a big deal to someone. I get sick having to remind Bio Mom how serious this case actually is.