Monday, October 6, 2014

But what about MY kids?

While I was outside the courtroom prior to Daisy's hearing last week I heard something from the original social worker that made my skin crawl. She was talking about the family that cared for Daisy for the first six weeks she was in Care prior to coming to us.

I don't want to bash on these people. I think they were doing the best they could with what they thought foster care was. Obviously though, their training failed them miserably!

The caseworker said that while trying to hash out when visits were going to take place between Daisy and her mom, the original foster family was obviously opposed to participating in visits in any way shape or form. They were placing very tight restraints on their schedule and limiting when they would be willing to transport to visits. Then one of the foster parents said something along the lines of this, "Who will be there to get Daisy out of the car?"

The social worker had no idea what she meant and pressed for more information.

"Who will be there to get Daisy out of the car at the CPS office? I mean, I'm going to have to have my biological kids with me and I can't expose them to that."

I almost threw up a little.

No, fostering hasn't been easy for me. And no, it most certainly hasn't been easy for my kids either. But I don't regret any of it.

A blog I stumbled across today sums it up just about perfectly. I encourage you to read these words. I'm thankful for all that my children learned by opening up our home to foster care.

1 comment:

G said...

Oh, that is appalling. Why are they fostering if they can't expose their kids to "that"? I was always startled when a caseworker organizing visits thanked me for being flexible with my family's schedule in order to make visits happen; they made it clear that there are a lot of foster parents out there who resist the inconvenience.

And that blog you linked is right on. The fact is that fostering has led to my bio kids seeing things that they otherwise would have never witnessed. And they have heard things that part of me wishes they didn't have to know. But I think it has made them more empathetic, more compassionate and more patient. It's a parenting instinct to shelter our kids, but it's not always truly the best thing for them.