Sunday, October 12, 2014

I just saw Daisy

Earlier this week Kori invited me to meet with her and Daisy at a local fall festival. It was a very neutral setting and one that made sense without being too awkward, so I said yes.

If I'm being totally honest, I'd tell you I really didn't want to go.

I knew if I wanted to maintain connection at all though, I needed to agree to this and meet with them. Otherwise I might not get another chance.

I want to give y'all a play-by-play. I want to point out all the ways that Daisy is being cared for differently from when she lived with me. But that's not fair. So I'll say this, it is evident that Daisy is very loved and that Daisy's current needs are all being met.

Daisy is attached to her mother in a healthy way. There was live music at the event and it was obvious that Daisy was overstimulated (and possibly confused/scared/upset) by the unknown of where she was. The music was very, very loud and Daisy couldn't tell where she was or who the people around her were. When I went to pick her up, she became instantly upset and wanted to go back to Kori immediately.

This hurt my heart.

But in reality, it's an incredibly good thing. Daisy wants to receive comfort from her mom. That is healthy attachment. And that is very, very good! I'm pretty sure Daisy didn't know it was me and just wanted to go back to the familiar.

TT and Bart came with me. I bought them some "tickets" and they ran around the festival winning a whole pile of crappy junk toys. They tried getting Daisy's attention multiple times and Bart tried holding her too. Daisy just wanted to stay in her stroller though and basically interact only with her mom. It hurt TT and Bart's feelings, but they handled it amazingly well. We processed things when we left. They too recognized how good it was to see Daisy happy with her mom. As much as we wanted Daisy to come to us, knowing she's comfortable with her mom is reassuring in the long run. It's better than thinking that Daisy has been caught up in anguish over losing us in her life.

We stayed an hour. Kori and I only had so much small talk that we could make. And since Daisy didn't want to have anything to do with me, I could only stomach sitting there doing nothing for so long. As I got ready to leave Kori asked if I wanted a picture of me with Daisy. I said yes. This picture is probably too revealing, but I'm not going to sweat it. I got to see Miss Daisy again. Miss Daisy is doing well. And for that, I am grateful.

2 comments:

MamaFoster said...

My first visit with savannah after she was returned to her mom was suuuuuper awkward. Her mom is always awkward, but savannah was too. She was very clingy to her mom and acted like she didn't want to left alone with me. It really hurt my heart. The second visit was totally different. For one, she started calling me Leah. I think she had no idea what to call me at the first visit because I had always been "mom" and now I wasn't, so who was I? Also, fast forward to current day, savannah begs me to come see her or to have her over. I know things with daisy are different, but reading that reminded me of our first visit afterwards. Hope the boys are ok after seeing her.

Mitzy said...

She's a little beauty, how I wish I could see my little E again. I'm glad you had this chance.