If I'm being totally honest, my level of normal and what most of the country's version of normal are not the same thing. And lately...things haven't exactly been normal in my house.
Behaviors have been seriously amped up. TT has been struggling with impulsive behaviors, destructive behaviors, stealing (mainly from his brothers), and overall self-sabotage. He and Bart have been fighting almost constantly. It's been a challenge. Line of sight parenting has been very necessary for almost a month. That gets exhausting for all involved.
Bart too has been all over the place. He can't sit still. He's so loud. And he's fighting with TT something horrible.
We're trying to help TT by putting him on an anxiety med. And it's to a place where I feel that Bart needs to be on an Rx for his ADHD. I can only help him manage things so well without this assistance. He got the "official" ADHD diagnosis over a year ago and went on Focalin. However, that turned him into a raging maniac and I stopped the medication. I wasn't thrilled with the psychiatrist so I just stopped the medication. We've been using GABA and a B-vitamin marketed for stress to help him focus a little bit. But it's just not enough anymore. (I also diffuse oils and work in lots and lots of active time into our school day. But again, it's just not enough.)
So I called the new psychiatrist today. Bart had an appointment scheduled for May of this year - the soonest they could get him in. But the doctor has a policy where you can call on Mondays and Tuesdays to see if there are any cancellations. She only sees new patients on Tuesdays. I called four times yesterday but there were no cancellations. When I called at 10:00 this morning they asked me how soon we could come in. We left for the doctor's office immediately. Thankfully the doctor agreed to see TT as well so we could discuss how the Lexapro he's been on might be affecting him.
The appointment went well. The doctor is putting Bart on Vyvanse. She's using this one because it's what Herman is on already and he has had no adverse side effects. Thankfully, ADHD meds typically kick in pretty quick. We should know if this works within a week or so.
The psychiatrist indicated that TT's cluster of negative events has most likely not been caused by the Lexapro. She let me explain, in detail, several of the things that have happened but she didn't overreact. My gut tells me that the spiral downward either has to do with the holiday season in general or the fact that he's definitely in the throws of puberty. (We all know that puberty messes with the best of kid's brains.) However, because TT reports that the Lexapro hasn't changed the way he feels inside at all, the doctor is switching him to a new medication.
Again, we'll have to wait at least two weeks to see if the new med has any effect. The new medication is a relatively untested one according to the pharmacist. The doctor reported that it was developed for adults but was largely ineffective. She did say that several children in her care have had success with it though. The pharmacist said that some people call it little more than a sugar pill because no one can scientifically explain why it does what it does (or doesn't do). TT starts on the Buspirone tonight.
If I'm being honest, I have to say that I feel like a failure because all the children in my house are on prescription drugs due to mental health issues. I know it's not my fault. And I know I tried a lot of other things first. But I don't like giving up so much to the pharmaceutical industry every month.
On the flip side though, when Herman FINALLY went on Vyvanse for his ADHD last year his life literally turned around. He brought his grades up from failing to A's and B's. Life around the house got easier for him too because he wasn't fighting the inattentive problems and he could actually focus.
Both Bart and TT are expressing a desire to go back to brick and mortar school. I believe that they both need prescriptions that are working well in order for them to be successful in a traditional school environment. One of the biggest reasons we brought TT home to school was because of his almost crippling anxiety. And Bart used to get in trouble all the time when we went to brick and mortar school for kindergarten and 1st grade. In order for him to succeed in upper elementary, he'll have to be able to sit down and shut up for longer than 5 minutes at a time.
Here's to praying these meds work. Even if they stay at home for school, I could use a break from the rather high level of crazy we've been dancing in lately.