Monday, March 2, 2015

Emergency trip to Iowa

I imagine that most of you know what's going on due to my Facebook posts. In the event that you don't follow Cherub Mamma on FB, here's a super quick update...

My daddy hasn't been well for many years. He has suffered multiple heart attacks and strokes. The last four and a half years have been very challenging as he didn't recover well from his last stroke at all.

On Monday of this week he fell. My mom took him to the ER and he got six staples in his head. His condition deteriorated rapidly this week.

Because his behaviors were EXACTLY like what happens when he gets in a depressive state, it didn't seem necessary to go back to the doctor right away.

However, on Friday it got worse. Much worse. He was admitted to the hospital. The wound on his head was very infected.

I started communicating with my agency on this Saturday as my dad continued to get worse. I wanted them to make preparations for my Neverland Kids to go to respite care. Initially they told me this wouldn't be a problem.

My sister called me early this morning to tell me that my daddy was being moved to hospice. I knew I had one day, today, to get all my affairs in order.

Over breakfast I told Pirate and Captain that they were going to respite care...a babysitter...for a few days with, but that they would come back to my home as soon as I was done seeing my daddy, mommy and the rest of my family. I showed them on a map how far away Iowa is. I told them I wanted them to come with me but that the social workers and the judge said, "no". I told them they were coming back to me though and that we'd be together again.

Rainbow let me know in the middle of the day that we were going to have to disrupt instead. They had no luck finding respite that CPS would approve. Again, I don't know all the details. I was just told this is the way it is.

Rainbow told me to go to the school and sign the paperwork to un-enroll Captain.

I went to Captain's kindergarten room and talked to him. Through tears I told him that he was going to have to say goodbye to this school. He cried too. I told him that I wanted him. I told him that this wasn't my idea. I told him I was so very sorry but I wanted to give him a chance to say goodbye to his friends.

I spent the day trying to tie up all the loose ends. I've filled out paperwork, finished filing paperwork from February. Freelanced. And folded all the laundry I did over the weekend.

I also packed everything the Neverland Kids own up for them.

Captain got off the bus at 3:40pm. We went and picked up Pirate from daycare. They came home, ate a snack and watched TV. I couldn't muster up anything else. Pirate clung to me a lot. I could tell he was scared. I told him I loved him and I loved being his "Mamma L***".

Rainbow came at 5:00pm to pick up Captain and Pirate. Another worker came at the same time to get Tinkerbell. The kids are going to emergency respite tonight with homes in our agency. These homes can do respite for the kids for a night or two. I don't know why they can't keep them the whole time I'm gone.

The last thing I said to the boys was, "I love you, even when I can't see you."

And then, they were gone.

I believe that CPS is going to move all three kids from the emergency respite homes tomorrow to place them together in a home licensed through a different agency. They won't be coming back to my home.

I messaged Kori today and found out that her girls are no longer in a shelter home. They won't be coming back to The Crazy House either.

I will be leaving for Iowa first thing in the morning tomorrow (Tuesday). I don't know if I'll get there in time to say goodbye to my daddy or not. My family has told him I'm coming but I told them to tell him not to wait for me.

Mr. Amazing and Herman will drive up separately. They can't leave tomorrow due to work and school but they'll be in Iowa soon.

This is particularly hard. On so many levels. Losing four people you love all at once isn't easy.

I have no idea what we're going to do next.


Foster Mom - R said...

Don't worry about next. Focus on the now. God has a plan even during the pain. Safe travels. Lots of prayers coming your way.

knwd said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your father. "Roller coaster ride" doesn't even begin to do justice to the week that you've had, but I really hope that you have come to a turning point where things will start to get better.

Now that the duration of your trip to Iowa is a bit less uncertain, is is possible that the Neverland kids can simply stay in respite care and return to you when you get home?

Have a safe trip, and I hope that you and your family will find comfort in being together, sharing happy memories of your father.

Cherub Mamma said...

My agency didn't have respite for Tinkerbell. Ultimately, I think that's what caused the disruption. They had to get CPS involved to find respite and everyone got their britches in a bunch.

CPS is moving all three of the children today I think. They'll be placed together in a new home with a new agency.

Even though I can almost guarantee that I'll be back by next Friday night, I don't think anyone would do anything about this. And my heart is so crushed by the way The System treated these kids, I'm not sure I'm ready to jump feet first into trauma again. I need a week or two to breathe.

Emily said...

Shedding tears for all of you. This sucks.

G said...

I'm so sorry. Hugs and prayers for all of you. Be good to yourself.

VJ said...

I agree with "R." Don't think about what's coming next, just focus on your "forever family" and grieving this loss. The system has screwed you over, yet again. But maybe your home needs to be open when you return so that you can be placed with a kid only YOU can help. A year from now you may be saying "Oh, THAT'S why we had to go through all that turmoil." Until then, try not to worry about the "what ifs" and just be with your family. I'm sorry for your loss (though I know the loss now is somewhat of a relief, I am sorry for the loss of your dad's health that happened some time ago and made his life less pleasant).

tashapork said...

Daisys first Foster home was short lived because they couldn't meet her needs. While moving around isn't good for her, I don't see the door completely closed on this.

Anonymous said...

Deep sympathy on your loss. This will be a huge change for your whole family. I am thinking of you all.
The next steps will unroll as time moves on. Much support to you all.

abrianna said...

Sorry to hear about your dad. I wonder too if you still might get the 2nd D and D. I am not on FB so appreciate the update.